Last night, I was waiting and waiting for my wife to finish getting ready for us to go out. I was ready, the babysitter was there, but some women just take a long time to get going. Finally she says, "come on, lets go already" (as if it was my fault we were late). As we're going into the car, my son calls her to say there's a phone call. She quickly runs to take it, and I am thinking she will return in a second. As I am waiting in the cold car, it's taking longer and longer and she's not coming out. The old me would go bursting into the house, slam the phone down, and forcefully grab her into the car. This would ultimately set up for an unpleasant night out.
Instead, I gave her the benefit of the doubt, maybe the call was about a shidduch she's working on and she must take it. So instead, I just humbled myself, stayed in the car and responded to an email as a distraction.
She came back a few minutes later, and was pleasantly surprised how I didn't react.
It didn't end up being an important call, but that didn't really make a difference. A confrontation would have likely started a chain reaction of bad stuff - and possibly acting out for me, later on.
Dov replied:
Wow. Giving up really is the best way to win, after all. Thanks for the sweet example you are setting for me and the rest of us, Stuart.