"Hashem's Soldier" posted on the forum:
I'm weak, I had a slip today with my eyes at work.... (A true addict is one who tries going to the website KNOWING it is blocked, and yet he tries to go to it anyway).
I'm home alone, I still don't have a filter installed here and I want to have a fall.
I am making a shvuah that for the next 20 min, I will not go looking for shmutz without first reaching out to someone on the forum that I have contact with through texting.
Hashem, I admit that I am powerless and that I am dealing with a force and a desire which is above human nature, it controls human nature. Hashem, I recognize all of this, and I know that without You I have no chance, it's Your fight that you put in my hands, and the only way for me to win is with Your help. Hashem, please help me get out of this situation, and help me complete this night without EVEN a slip.
20 minutes later, "Hashem's Soldier" posts:
Ok, 20 minutes are up. What have I been doing? I've been lusting after Kedusha; listening to some Yosef Karduner. "Im ein ani li, mi li?..." Think about it. This thought has to be on the top of every addicts head. If I'm not willing to help myself, why should Hashem help me?
"Im lo achshav eimasai?..." We tell ourselves "it's Ok to fall, I'll just start my count again tomorrow, no big deal".....NO, NO, NO, NO! It is a big deal. If not now, when? The answer to that question is not tomorrow or in two days. If not now, NEVER. My life starts today!! From now on, full speed ahead!
AGAIN! I CAN'T DO THIS BY MYSELF. IT'S ALL UP TO HASHEM. The Nesivos Shalom basically says this fundamental idea for us addicts: We can't do it by ourselves, this is a tayvah which is above nature. But if we do something down here (israusa delesatah) then Hashem sends us presents from above and helps us to do the rest (isarusa dele'eila). But it only comes after we do OURS!