The Library

Whether you are are in a committed relationship or thinking about one, or you are a counselor, member of the clergy, or a therapist, here are 3 myths about pornography use among couples you need to know:

I am not an addict. I am the wife of an addict. I have also lived with other addictions before my marriage. My mind is trained to obsess about the addict and their safety, their whereabouts, how they are, or how they ought to be.

This journey has taken me through a number of different stages in how I view my wife’s struggle, how much I’m involved, and how I feel about myself because of it. Stage one was the hardest. I felt bad for myself for being stuck with someone that is “lower” than me. I felt...

Porn ruined my ex-husband. Porn ruined me. I was married for 6.5 years. My husband was already addicted to porn before we got married. Ever since I got married, I realized something was completely off. My husband constantly criticized me and put me down. I was not pretty ...

Question: I am a frum woman and my situation is as follows. Two and a half years ago I left my sex addict (now ex-) husband. He is a charismatic, fun-loving man, as I like to say, "the nicest man you will ever meet." His interests were porn and voyeurism. He was extreme...

Something isn’t right–at least, that is what your heart is telling you. But there seems to be no evidence to support your feeling. “He’s a great guy,” you remind yourself. “He’s just working hard to provide for our family. He’s stressed and he’s tired, and that’s all it i...

I am a recovering SAnon (wife of a sex addict). I don't have any groundbreaking advice, but this is my take on the issue of Meetings conflicting with Sholom Bais based on my experience. This situation is very typical. SAnon rooms are very small in comparison to SA. M...

Dearest Chani, It is extremely difficult for me to write this to you. But it is harder not to. Lately, I feel that my perceived dishonesty and hiding is creating tension in our marriage, sort of a rift between us, and rightly so. A good marriage must be built on a solid f...

I contend it only takes one… Evidence shows that it only takes one person to ruin a relationship – one selfish person. Now, I realize that everyone is selfish to one degree or another. The type of selfishness that ruins relationships is the one that frequently disregards ...

Testimony from Hearing on Pornography's Impact on Family and Marriage Beginning pornography use associated with increase in probability of divorce

About a week ago, I finally raised the white flag. Indeed, I don’t know how to support my wife through her sex addiction (which has uncovered many other layers of emotional dysfunction). Yesterday was the first time that I went to therapy for myself. While I’d like to ...

A Spouse wrote: I am plagued by the thought that this is my fault because I gained weight. I know my husband wanted a slim person only and cares about my weight. As a bachur, he had this problem, which he thought would go away when he got married. He told me it did help b...

Miriam will be doing a call for spouses every Wed at 2pm EST, 9pm Israel time so that women in Israel can join as well! More info and call-in numbers on this page: https://guardyoureyes.com/component/zoo/item/spouses-of-addict-s-group

I would like to share an important point with wives of men who struggle: Your husband is not acting out because of you. He is not doing it to spite you. He is not doing it because he misses something which he thought he could have gotten from you. He is doing it be...

We were married nine years ago. I had my misgivings from the beginning- his parents didn’t have a good marriage- but besides for that, my husband was loving, caring and devoted- I never would have believed what would come to be. After we agreed to move to my hometown, m...

Before I begin, I reiterate that this letter is written by a Yid - little mr. yechida here. Your husband did not know I would write this and certainly didn't ask me to. It's important that you keep this in mind as you read this letter. An important disclaimer: every life ...

Esti was living the ideal life. A successful husband. A beautiful home. Relatively happy kids. Good health. And she was dedicated to her role as a loyal wife. It was late at night when Esti called me. I could quickly hear in her voice that she was in a state of sh...

I'm a wife of a sexaholic. The difficulty of being married to an addict is not only the acting out behavior. It also very much includes their demeanor. The demeanor I'm talking about shows itself in the addict’s inability to have a healthy relationship, his mean-spirite...