The Library

Someone wrote: The 12-Steps speak about how we are powerless. This seems to me to be ANT-TORAH!! It may SEEM like we're powerless, and it may be EXTREMELY difficult (like it is for me) but powerless?? The very first mussar shmooze in the Torah was given by the MASTER HI...

Dov Responds: There are two things here, as I see it: 1- the 12 Steps themselves, and 2- 12 step culture. The culture of the 12 step fellowships is described pretty well in the sefer "B'nei Machshovah Tova" by the Piasetzner hy"d even tho he surely never heard of AA...

Addiction Research Expert William White examines the data known today and suggests that after 5 years of recovery, things seem to stabilize for most people, requiring a greater force at that time to toss them into relapse. See from his blog below: For years I have b...

Dov Answers: I'm told by a CSAT friend of mine that the current opinion among many CSATs is that it's better to avoid using the 'addict' label and model with clients, at least initially, and that giving the label is potentially damaging for many who are not addicts (and c...

First and foremost it is a sign of humility for the newcomer to prioritize listening over sharing. New members generally know very little about living a healthy, sober life and the only way to learn from the experience of others is to listen to them. It is not appropriat...

"Powerless" has nothing whatsoever to do with 'ilmolei ozro, eino yachol lo' and is not the flipside of 'hakol bidei Shomayim chutz miyir'as Shomayim', at all. Whether I am in control or not is a simple fact: if I cannot stop having sex with myself (most folks call that ...

Our Reply: Dear Bewildered Tzadik, it is good that you are reaching out for help. Although we get tens of emails like yours every day, your email shook me up. Firstly, because of the statistics you quoted (75%!) and, secondly, because of how you make it sound: as if the...

RABBI YEHOSHUA KAGANOFF Passaic, NJ 07055 201-953-2703 20 Sivan, 5776 / 26 June ‘16 Below is the pertinent part of my responsum to a highly regarded, prominent Talmid Chochom Posek, which is found on pg 158 of my sefer on addiction and halocho. I have translated (and ann...

Rabbi Kaganoff's "Addictions: Halocho and Hashkofo." This book is a few hundred pages long, but if you have the time and the patience, you will find most of your concerns with the 12 steps, attending meetings, etc. adequately addressed. In particular, the question "Are th...

Many first-timers are amazed by the cordial, relaxed atmosphere of 12-step meetings and the eclectic mix of people in attendance. Firstly, you should know that are two types of "traditional" 12-Step support group meetings: open and closed. Open meetings are for anyone wh...

Torah Perspectives on the Twelve StepsIn this section we will analyze the Twelve Step program of addictions and recovery from a Torah perspective. In recent years the Twelve Step program has become widely accepted both in Israel and in the Jewish world. Our goal is to cla...

Dov writes: Sometimes guys write to me about SSA. I responded to a couple of them with this (below) as a start to the right conversation: As far as myself, I do not see any similarity that homosexuality bears to addiction. Do you? It seems like a separate issue and ther...

The GYE forums are often breeding grounds for heated discussions / arguments for and against 12-Step groups, whether or not they are in accordance with the Torah, and why or why not the Torah hasn’t been enough to stop the struggling Yid from his behaviors. Dov, who is cl...

A: To answer your question, let me start with this introduction: Powerless doesn't mean you are not responsible for your recovery. The 12-Steps is actually all about taking responsibility! All that powerless means is that you can't do anything about the addiction itself, ...

Are you new to recovery? If you are reading this and you answer this question with a solid yet resigned YES, walking into a 12-step meeting can be overwhelming. The sights, the sounds, the smell of strong coffee, strangers engaging in recovery speak that sounds like a...

I am fairly open about the fact that I am in recovery from sexual addiction, not only writing about it but talking about it in my other 12-step recovery programs when appropriate. (I have more than a decade of sobriety from both my chemical and sexual addictions.) As such...

Is Sex Addiction a True Addiction? Weiss: “Yes. The question of whether sex addiction exists is really a non-issue. We know that it exists, we know what causes it and, most important, we know how to provide useful treatment.” “Sexual addiction (as a diagnosis), readily...

Dear GYE, In 2011, I discovered that I had a problem and I turned to you guys, who eventually sent me to a 12-step group. I stayed clean for 3.5 years with relatively good recovery. My wife, however, hated the groups so much that we almost divorced over them. She could ...