In Shabbos 54b we learn that it is impossible to say that Reuven sinned, because his children would never have been on Har Aivol if he had sinned. But you say in the Handbook that teshuvah is accepted in any situation, and so I don't understand the Gemarah. It could be that he sinned but did Teshuvah!
In addition, on the same page, the Gemarah says that someone who sins, if he is a Kohain, his children won't serve in the Beis Hamikdash, and if he is a Yisrael, his children won't be Talmidei Chachamim. So, how should I feel?
Feeling like Giving Up
My dear Giving Up ,
Chazal also say about the churban of the second Beis Hamikdash that Hashem was willing to forgive the murder, adultery and even avodah zara, but he couldn't forgive the bitul Torah.
And Chazal say that if someone is walking outside and learning, and he stops to say "how beautiful is this tree" he is mischayav binafsho.
Have you ever been guilty of bitul torah?
Another Chazal says that 3 people have no chelek in olam haba, a murderer, an adulter and someone who serves avodah zara. But one who speaks Lashon Hara is worse than all of them.
Have you ever been guilty of lashon hara?
So why is it that specifically the Chazal about this issue is making you want to give up?
The answer is very simple. It's AGAIN the Yetzer Hara. He WANTS you to feel YIUSH so you should feel so low. This way he can get you to continue sinning!
So how can we know if it's the Yetzer Hara or the Yezter Tov? It's simple! If we feel that it's HARDER to sin again after hearing these kind of Chazals, then we know that it's the Yetzer Tov. But if we feel like giving up, it is obviously the Yetzer Hara!
It's BALONEY. Teshuvah helps in ALL cases, especially with a sin that is so common, and with the huge nisyonos of today.
Hashem is extremely proud of anyone who takes this battle seriously and makes progress in this area. Progress, not perfection.
Also, it is important to understand that in the case of addiction, it is unhealthy to view this as a "terrible sin" (is an alcoholic a sinner when he drinks?). Rather, we need to realize that this is a disease that will destroy our life in this world and the next. We need to realize that it is in OUR BEST SELF INTEREST to break free of this, even if it WASN'T a sin.
Hatzlacha!