Dear GYE,
I am a bochur who finally is extricating himself from watching pornography. I just woke up with a wet dream and I am very tzubrochen - why do I get this now, when I am trying so hard to be clean?
Tzubrochene Hartz
Dear Tzubrochen,
When the subconscious mind starts to realize that you have made a decision not to watch pornography anymore, it rebels. It wants the "drug." It wants that rush of adrenaline and raised heartbeat.
Therefore, when it is in charge - when you are sleeping, half awake, or very spaced out - it will take over and flood your head with images in your memory and cause wet dreams. Ignore all of this completely. It actually means you are winning the war and the subconscious is desperate. It is on the attack. It wants you to feel dirty and evil after the wet dream - but nothing could be farther from the truth! There is no doubt Hashem is proud of you!
"Hashem Help Me"