Question: "Why am I so easily aroused and triggered by everything I see? When I walk in the street or even see a children's movie, there are just so many triggers. Have I messed up my mind for life?"
Almost anyone who was once addicted to these things has indeed warped his ability to look at women in a normal way and must make barriers and fences for himself that perhaps others don't have to make. We need to be much more careful with Shmiras Ainayim than most people. We simply do not have a choice. This includes not watching non-Jewish movies of any type. There is almost no movie today that does not have in it attractive women dressed provocatively or some sort of romance or love scene, even in the most "parve" children's movies. And these things are strong triggers for us. Also browsing the web is very dangerous. Even regular news sites like CNN, ABC and Fox news, are just full of triggers. As addicts, we also need to be much more careful about where we go and who we interact with in our every day lives. And TV? Forget about it. We all know that would be a disaster for any of us.
But Yidden, is this a drawback or a disadvantage? Quite the opposite! We are the fortunate ones! Having fallen so many times and having felt the pain of addiction, we are FORCED to avoid all these things if we want to stay Erlich at all! This is a GIFT from Hashem. After all, think about it. Most Yidden want to be holy deep down, and they know that watching TV, movies and browsing the web indiscriminantly are detrimental to this effect, and yet they simply don't have the strength to stay away from these things. And it's hard to blame them. Movies, TV, internet, magazines, they're just everywhere, and they beckon to us from every medium and outlet, everywhere we go! But we, who have been down these paths of addiction, pain and distance from Hashem, know what happens when we let ourselves enjoy all these seemingly "harmless" behaviors and pastimes. And we have no choice but to make drastic life-style changes to remain sober. And in the process of doing so, we are finally able to lead the life Hashem anyway wants EVERY YID to live!
Hashem knew we would be in this situation. He knew we would fall and fall and he waited for so many years until the time would be right and we would learn to give him our hearts. We were given a much greater potential for true "ahavas Hashem" and personal growth than most other Yidden. We have the ability to shoot up the spiritual ladder at a faster rate than others who don't have this intense struggle. We must rejoice with this challenge and learn to focus all our yearnings to the source of all beauty, all good, all pleasure and all love: Hakadosh Baruch HU!