Todays' fall happened in slow motion. I got depressed about the state of my marriage over some stupid comment my wife said. I then went to a meeting that had it's location changed, but no one cared to tell me about. I wandered around, in a depressed funk, knowing exactly where it was going to end up, but having no choice, like some sort of a sick bystander watching a tractor trailer about to run over a stroller but unable to do anything about it...
Having a real hard day... I'm just so in the mood of falling ... Feeling aimless and dejected...
Dov, what do you do when feeling aimless and dejected? It seems to be a recipe for disaster. So many people are posting lately about how these type of feelings lead them to fall...
I do not have the luxury of basking in dejectedness or sadness. I get involved in whatever I am supposed to be doing, de-isolate, make a call to a program friend or my sponsor, and talk to my G-d a lot more - and calmly. I do not expect miracles, but they really tend to occur. Usually I discover by the time I go to sleep that I snapped out of my self-pity attack a few hours before, but was not paying attention!
Oh, and assessing my mood just to keep tabs on it ("am I really happy?") is another childish habit that I cannot afford any more, so I gave it up slowly and with the help of others, over about 2 years of work (at the ripe age of about 45! Waaa!!!!). I don't do it now. My life is much better without "my help", thank-you. I let Hashem worry about my moods, I do not need to assess or guide them any more.
If you wish to stay sober you may need to:
Oh yeah, and even if things have to go badly, find a friend to smile with, no matter what :-)