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Build up your ratzon

Why Do I Keep Losing it?

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

Someone asked:

Dear organizers of this amazing site,

I get your daily posts and it gives me tremendous chizuk.

I am currently on a high and Hashem is helping me to keep my eyes clean.

However, from past experiences, these highs do not last long and the power of satan comes back with a vengeance. Please send me advice on how to maintain the level of kedusha that one reaches once the hisorerus goes away.

 

Reply:

Being able to guard our eyes is a tremendous gift. Hashem only gives it to someone who really wants it. We often think we want it, but we don't really want it enough. That is why we keep falling again and again. Hashem sometimes causes us to fall to help us build up our ratzon again and again, until we have enough zechusim in the bank (from saying 'no' to ourselves thousands of times) and enough "ratzon" to really want it. Then the gift is given to us for free, and we are able to hold on to it for the long term.

So don't despair if you lose the high and find yourself slipping yet again. It just means Hashem is trying to help you build up your ratzon more. Sometimes it takes years, but at a certain point, with enough work and teffilah, the gift is given to us for keeps.

And it's precious enough to keep working for it, no matter how long it takes. “Give me your eyes and you are mine”, Hashem says.