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Scared of Falling
Dear GYE,
B”H, I’m doing okay — almost 12 full days - but I’m scared I will just have a sudden fall. I’m trying to put in an effort every day but maybe one day I’ll simply be possessed by my Y”H and masturbate, and either not care or just not have the power to stop it in the moment. This is kind of what happened to me after my longest streak of 59 full days. I was doing well but all of a sudden I had a fall. I was SHOCKED! So now I’m writing daily, trying to write plans before the bathroom and stuff, and other simple tools that I used before the fall but I feel like it won’t be enough when I need that extra strength to keep me going. What should I do to ensure a true victory?
-Baffled by Lust
Dear Baffled,
Everyone on GYE struggles with these thoughts. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
1) Don't be so afraid of a fall. Sometimes the anxiety of falling can lead to a fall! Falls are normal, they aren't the end of the world. This is not about "Never doing it again." It's about making good progress in this area.
2) Take it one day at a time. Can you stay clean just for today? Awesome!
3) Use the group support of GYE to reach out to others, stay out of isolation and use other's help and advice to push you along.
4) The TaPHSiC method can help make falls much more difficult, hence, less of an option in your mind -- and therefore less to be worried about.
Keep up the good work!