What are the halachos of histaklus? It is beyond the scope of this work to discuss shmiras einayim’s many halachic ramifications – some of which many of us face daily. We do, however, wish to summarize the halachic parameters. The unfortunate laxity prevalent today is perhaps due to widespread ignorance of the relevant halachos. The passuk that warns about guarding one’s eyes is in Shema, ולא תתורו אחרי לבבכם ואחרי עיניכם – Do not stray after your heart and after your eyes. This informs us that it is a full fledged prohibition from the Torah for a man to either gaze or fantasize about women.
Shmiras einayim is not merely a chumra undertaken by previous generations, nor are its struggles intended only for the frum or chassidish. It was presented to each and every member of Hashem’s holy nation.
The Torah regulates our actions, speech and thoughts. A Yid is not permitted to behave, speak, or even think without restraint. The Shulchan Aruch says (Even Ha’ezer 21:1): ״A man must keep himself well, well away from women… It is forbidden to jest with her or to gaze upon her beauty.״ The Mishnah Berurah (siman 75, se’if katan 7) says that all opinions agree that to gaze upon any woman for pleasure, even an unmarried, modestly dressed woman, and even if it’s just at her little finger, definitely comes under the prohibition of לא תתורו – Do not stray.
The prohibition applies to any female, married or single, and includes everyone other than close blood relatives (i.e. mother, grandmother, daughter, granddaughter, sister and spouse).
What about looking without deriving any pleasure? This is called ״ראיה בעלמא לפי תומו״ – incidental looking – and is permitted. (The Minchas Shmuel, however, proves that an adam chashuv should be wary of this).
Rav Moshe Shmuel Shapiro, ztz ״l, gives clear definitions. What is the kind of re’iyah that is prohibited and would consequently be damaging to a man’s neshama? When he gazes at her, taking note of her individual form and features. Merely seeing, however, with no pleasure involved, is permitted. Does it depend on the length of time? No. Sometimes a momentary glance is in fact an intent gaze, whereas other times even a prolonged look barely gets registered.
An example of re’iya be’almah would be how, when walking down the street, we notice exactly where we’re going without having paid the matter any attention. Similarly regarding the issur of histaklus – if the viewing is incidental and gives no pleasure, and if his attention is focused on some other business at hand, then it is acceptable.
Continually monitoring and correcting where one’s eyes wander is a basic component of the lifestyle of a Yid. Anyone who treats shmiras einayim as an optional extra which he is at liberty to ignore, has deleted a clause in his contract with Hashem and thereby invalidated the document. He is termed ‘mumar ledavar echad’ (an apostate). Torah is not a pick ‘n mix. Dispensing with even one section of a royal directive could be equivalent to chucking it all overboard. (Of course, we are not talking about a person who is at least trying, and who feels guilty when he slips. We are speaking of someone who has made a decision that he does not care about this particular issue).
To sum up the previous few excerpts, to keep strong in Shmiras Einayim we must: