The Rambam says that one’s manner of walking distinguishes the wise person from the fool. Sauntering around like a tourist, drinking in the general atmosphere will invite problems; such problems, however, won’t arise when portraying a more business-like air and walking briskly as though someone awaits your arrival.
This section, though applicable to all, has some especially comforting words to guide the individual who feels stuck in a rut. The dizzying monstrosities of Western society may have brought him to succumb at times to screaming temptation, and this will have left him battered and bruised.
The following three ideas will help put the reins firmly back in his hands and help salvage his self-respect.
What do I do after a fiasco, after I’ve seen something I shouldn’t have? Shall I mourn? Shall I groan? No! Ignore it. Even in a case of deliberate histaklus, the rule is: don’t let the regretting and grieving set in. ״Ignoration is the best medication. ״ Never fight a sighting. Pay no attention to what you saw, inadvertently or otherwise, and you’ll quickly bounce back into shape.
It’s only natural for the forbidden to attract a person on first sight. What Hashem asks is to immediately slam the brakes and right now resist taking even another half a look or giving it a moment’s further thought. Just keep on as if nothing happened and you’ll be deserving of seeing the P’nei HaShechina. What? Can that be? Yes! This is granted to you because you did not allow yourself to be dragged down by dwelling on what you have seen. Chazal (Derech Eretz ch. 1) say, ״Anyone who sees something [unworthy] and does not feast his eyes on it will merit seeing the P’nei HaShechina. ״ Note that they talk of someone who saw something sinful, yet still, he is promised this reward.
The golden rule is that any harsh, self-berating thoughts that leave us deflated instead of strengthened definitely come from the yeitzer hora’s poisonous brews. A few hardy individuals may actually find it serves their purpose, but for many of us it would be a soul-destructive exercise even though it might seem the ״frummest ״ thing to do.
While ignoring past mistakes and simply continuing forward, where does remorse and rectification find its place?
An aveira distances us away from Hashem, whilst also leading us over to the ״Other Side ״. Once the boundary into this domain has been crossed, we’re in the yeitzer hora’s sphere of influence allowing him a hold on us. Fantastic opportunist that he is, he immediately tries to change his hold into a grip, a clutch, and eventually a strangle, chas v’shalom. Therefore, immediately after any misstep, ignore what has just happened. Escape before things become more serious.
Picture the sad scenario of a fine youngster who had a good up-bringing, but has fallen into the wrong company and adopted their bad ways even to the point of stealing. How would we come to his rescue? Prod him to return the dishonest money? Not yet, he’s not ready for that. First we must get him to stop meeting up with those unsavoury friends. Only then can we start to help him repair the past damage. The Jewish year is a model for this – we have to experience the inspiration of Rosh Hashanah before we can face the day of rectification for our misdeeds – Yom Kippur.
Being that shmiras einayim is such a delicate subject, before dealing with past sins we need to be at a safe distance. For now, award no space in your mind for any disappointments in yourself, and certainly never wallow in thoughts that might lower your self-esteem.