The Library

I don’t think anyone wants to put their marriage in jeopardy. In fact, we’ve heard from several readers that the only reason they “allow” porn in their marriage is to try to save or enhance it. They don’t want to push their husband away by putting “unrealistic expectation...

Pornography excites the brain, in part, because it gives us license to have unabashed sex. Like art, it's a personal taste: For some, porn is exhilarating and enjoyable with a partner, but for others, it embodies exploitation of the vulnerable. It's even difficult to dete...

Keeping my eyes and my thoughts away from even mildly pornographic or destructive things is something I believe is important and will make me a happier person. I want to be thinking about how to reach my dreams, how to be a better husband, how to do something awesome,...

Imagine a drug so powerful it can destroy a family simply by distorting a man's perception of his wife. Picture an addiction so lethal it has the potential to render an entire generation incapable of forming lasting marriages and so widespread that it produces more annual...

When one struggles with pornography, triggers are everywhere, especially in the hypersexualized media all around us. It often takes just a simple image to set off the chemical reaction in the brain, which first develops by looking at pornography. Sadly, simply turning o...

The number one guideline for using technology today is filters. There is no heter to have any device without a very good filter which blocks all מראות אסורות and anything that a person shouldn’t see. This applies no matter the age, and no matter what kind of device it is ...

A person wakes up in the morning, makes himself a cup of coffee. He puts the bitter coffee in a mug, adds to it the sweet sugar, pours in the boiling water and adds some cold milk. A cup full of contrasts: hot, cold, bitter, sweet. Then he says, “Ribono shel Olam, I...

Have you heard of Rav Motta Frank? Not so many people know his name. The truth is he doesn’t allow people to call him Rav Motta Frank, at least not in his presence. He makes everyone call him Motta. Rav Motta Frank is a rav and mashpia in the Breslov community in Meah She...

The need for strong passion and emotion in our yiddishkeit is a topic that has been heavily discussed in recent years, including at various forums at the Agudah convention. However, at the special “Sleepwalking Along the Derech” session, despite the alarm and awareness, a...

Of the different approaches in dealing with the dangers of technology, the Stoliner Rebbe is known to have an engaging approach. Seeing it as a reality of life, the Rebbe puts a focus on confronting it rather than avoiding it. On Motzei Shabbos Parshas Chayei Sarah, Rav...

An email received by GYE from Rabbi Y.W: Dear GYE, My partner and I are directors of a local kiruv organization that realizes that nowadays many in the frum community need a tremendous amount of kiruv and chizuk as well. I am aware of the enormous help GYE provides, and t...

Someone wrote to GYE: I am a real sicko - a loser. I am so subconciously focused on lust and I am almost 50 yrs old. Why can't I just be normal? I agree everyone has nisyonos from time to time, but it feels like I'm always stuck in the mud! GYE replies with a parabl...

In the world of sensory stimulation – sounds, smells and images – eyes are our primary interface with the world. Eyesight accounts for 80% of what we learn and 80% of our memories. We need to choose our images wisely, as the Torah exhorts: "Don't stray after your heart an...

When people consider making improvements in Shmiras Haloshon, they sometimes drop the idea as unrealistic. “Can I really say that I’ll be able to avoid loshon hora forever? What’s the point of trying, only to fail?” But in the month of Kislev, we learn that this line of ...

I am not an addict, nor an addict in recovery. My parents are not addicts. No one in my family or any of my friends are addicts or have died of an overdose – accidental or intentional. I grew up sheltered in a conservative community. A religious community. A community o...

The pasuk tells us that Esav was “tzayid befiv’. The common understanding of this is that Esav tricked Yitschok into thinking that he was really a righteous person and Chazal tell us that he would ask Yitschok halachic questions such as whether maser needs to be taken fro...

I heard the following Mashal/parable from a wise Tzaddik: A man is walking down the street. He has been walking for an hour and is very hungry. As he walks, he passes a McDonald's and he can smell the food cooking inside. Oh, is he hungry! But he knows the Halachos of k...

You defend your position of why you should not "keep trying" to get out with two key facts. 1). You have tried and failed, and this has broken your trust 2). It hurts to fail, and we avoid pain when possible.I’m going to restate the points like this:1). You have tried and...