I'm sorry that your struggles and your sobriety have been so uncomfortable at times. Hashem will help you have the kind of sobriety that is only uncomfortable some of the time - and then, that is comfortable nearly all the time - and then, really great most of the time etc, etc... you get the point. Life in sobriety is and has always been our actual problem and the steps seem to be a great answer to it, usually, a lot better answer than our acting out has ever been to it.
The steps are the one and only thing that I have found make sobriety more comfortable, actually. So I am glad for you (and for myself) that you are stepping instead of just 'stopping.'