To a member who had a fall, "AlexEliezer" writes:
We always need to ask ourselves, "What's the plan?"
I have found that the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay.
Being sober doesn't mean not looking at shmutz and not acting out.
Being sober means not taking the small drinks that lead to the binge.
For me, this means aggressive shmiras eynayim, along with not entertaining lustful fantasies or images in my brain.
To the degree that I am successful in avoiding these small pleasures, that is the degree to which the whole struggle is that much easier.
It's all about letting go of lust. You said you've been "poking" around. That's the whole issue. The masturbation is just the unfortunate consequence of "poking" around. You need to let go of all "poking" on the internet and fantasizing, the extra look at a woman, TV ad, or whatever. At first it will hurt. Force yourself for a week. Very agressive shmiras einyaim. And shemiras hamachshave. If a bad thought comes, immediately think about something else. Doesn't even have to be Torah. Anything kosher. Do that for a week, and it will get easier. But it will hurt at first. It will seem unnatural. But give it a shot. The problem with "poking" around is that, it progressess and feeds the addiction. That's why you should focus on these "minor incidents". And do hear the 12 step shiurim. They're really eye-opening.