Since my last fall, I can't seem to get back up. I keep falling lower and lower, again and again. I can't stop myself.
First of all, get out of the house. Go sit somewhere where it's nice in the outdoors, maybe on a park bench watching children.
It's time to have a TIME OUT and CATCH YOURSELF. It's time to think and take stock.
And that's not going to happen unless you MAKE YOURSELF.
Bring along a pen and paper, if it makes it easier.
Think: What am I doing?
What is really important in this world?
Would HaShem give me this Nisayon if I couldn't beat it?
I can do this, I want to do this.
I will not become a slave to my addictions. I am sick and I want to get better.
Then come up with a list of things to stop: Like viewing bad websites, reading inappropriate things that trigger you, watching movies, talking to members of the other gender, looking at them, fantasizing, Mast*, etc.
Now decide, what is the most pressing? Which of these behaviors can I say is the most urgent to be addressed, the main cause of my falls, the real reason I am stuck? You have to stop triggering yourself.
Now set up a small red-line. Just say, Ok, this week I will not go to those news sites, read romance or watch these videos. I WILL NOT.
Do you understand though, that once you set up this line YOU MUST KEEP TO IT?
If you do not keep to it, you will get even more depressed and give up.
Therefore you must recognize the urgency of keeping to it.
You do not want to be lost forever.
You want to beat this.
You don't want to end up married with kids to a good person and still have this problem.
It is IMPERATIVE THAT YOU BEAT THIS!
Please get back on track here, I know you can do it. Don't forget, Elul is approaching and you would like to stand before HaShem saying 'I am working on this, I'm getting somewhere'. You want to feel hopeful and good about yourself, and proud on this day that "YES, unlike other years, I have begun to conquer what I've always promised you, HaShem."