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The Tightrope

Sunday, 25 March 2012

The GYE Logo is of a man on a tightrope. This is based on the famous saying of Rebbe Nachman: "The whole world is a very thin bridge, and the main thing is not to be afraid at all".

There was a deep and lively discussion recently on the forum (starting on this page and continuing on to the next page) where a number of the members were contemplating whether "worrying" about our addiction was necessary and/or healthy for our recovery. After much give and take, we came to an agreement that that there are two types of "worry". There is the "worry" that we should have, and there's the "worry" that we shouldn't have.

1) The "worry" that we should have is a deep recognition of the mortal danger we are in if we continue down the path of lust addiction. We must know and internalize how lust is a poison, and that if we don't take the proper steps to break free of its insidious grip, it will end up destroying our lives. This type of "worry" is actually the core of Step No. 1 (of the 12-Steps) i.e. admitting powerlessness and realizing that our lives have become unmanageable. We must have this "worry" from the very first moment of our journey and on throughout our entire lives, with the knowledge that if we do not continue to do whatever it takes to remain sober, we are in grave danger indeed.

2) But then there is a second type of "worry", which some people might think should be used as a practical tool to remain clean. And that is, to worry whether we'll really make it or not, to worry about how we've failed so many times in the past, or to worry about whether the steps we are taking will be truly helpful or not, etc... This type of worry - I think we all agreed, is very unhealthy for us in our day-to-day struggles. Instead, we should never dwell on the past or be concerned about what the future may hold. We should focus only on the present, and have complete faith that our sincere efforts are what Hashem wants us to do in this present moment. And we should trust fully in Him to succeed as a baby trusts in its mother, without fear or questions.

It occurred to me later how profound the words of Rebbe Nachman are! For in this short saying that we quoted above, Rebbe Nachman addresses BOTH these types of worry. As he says: "The whole world is a very thin bridge" meaning; we must be very deeply aware of how precarious our situation is, and to make sure that we are taking steps in the right direction. But in the very same breath, Rebbe Nachman goes on to explain what those steps are: "And the main thing is - the secret to success is - not to fear at all!" Never look down from the tightrope! Just put one foot in front of the other and hold on to G-d with all your heart!

"YosefYakov" from the forum sent us this beautiful story which helps illustrate this idea:

Tightrope of Life

By Moshe Bryski

In the days of communism's fierce grip on the Soviet Union, there lived a Chasidic Jew named Reb Mendel Futerfas. Reb Mendel repeatedly put his life at risk with his efforts to promote Jewish education behind the Iron Curtain, and for some 14 years was incarcerated in prisons and labor camps for his "crime" of teaching Torah. While in the Siberian gulag, he spent most of his free time studying and praying, but he also interacted and conversed with other prisoners -- some Jewish, some not. Among these prisoners was a circus performer whose claim to fame was his incredible skill as a tightrope walker.

Reb Mendel would often engage this man in conversation. Having never been to a circus, Reb Mendel was totally baffled by the man's profession. How could a person risk his life walking on a rope several stories above ground? (This was in the days before safety nets were standard practice.)

"To just go out there and walk on a rope?" Reb Mendel challenged incredulously.

The performer explained that due to his training and skill, he did not need to be held up by any cables and that, for him, it was no longer all that dangerous. Reb Mendel remained skeptical and intrigued.

After Stalin died, the prison authorities relaxed their rules somewhat and the guards told the prisoners that they would be allowed to stage a makeshift circus on May Day. There was no doubt that the famous tightrope walker's act would be the highlight of the show. The tightrope walker made sure that his friend, Reb Mendel, was in the audience.

Everyone watched with baited breath as the tightrope walker climbed the tall pole to the suspended rope. His first steps were timid and tentative (after all, it had been several years) but within a few seconds, it all came back to him. With his hands twirling about, he virtually glided across the rope to the pole at the other end, and then, in a flash, made a fast turn, reversed his direction and proceeded back to the other side. Along the way, he performed several stunts. The crowd went wild.

When he was done, he slid down off the pole, took a bow and went running straight to Reb Mendel.

"So?" he said. "Did you see that I was not held up by any cables?"

A very impressed Reb Mendel replied, "Yes. You're right. No cables."

"OK. You're a smart man. Tell me, how did I do it? Was it my hands? Was it my feet?" the man asked.

Reb Mendel paused for a moment, closed his eyes and replayed the entire act back on his mind. Finally he said, "It's all in your eyes. During the entire time, your eyes were completely focused and riveted on the opposite pole."

"Exactly!" said the performer. "When you see your destination in front of you and you don't take your eyes off of it, then your feet go where they need to go and you don't fall."

The tightrope walker had one more question for Reb Mendel. "What would you say is the most difficult part of the act?"

Again Reb Mendel thought for a moment. "Most difficult was the turn; when you had to change direction."

"Correct again!" said the acrobat. "During that split second, when you lose sight of that first pole, and the other pole has not yet come into view, there is some real danger there. But... if you don't allow yourself to get confused and distracted during that transition, your eyes will find that pole and your balance will be there."