The Library

Lyrics:

Way back in the stone age,
It wasn’t yet the phone age,
It was two cans and a string
Or you were all a lone-age

But nowadays we call,
All ppl large and small
If you don’t have a cell phone
You are Neanderthal

A cell phones a good start
But why not make it smart,
A phone that has a data plan
And is a work of art

My phone is so elite
The world is at my feet,
My life is now the internet
My life is now complete

(Chorus)

Productivity, great efficiency,
I'll save so much time, now that I’m online,
Doing all my needs, at blazing 4G speeds,
I'll save so much time, now that I’m online,

I got my new device, for a gevaldige price,
The buttons are responsive and the screen is really nice.

For an entire day, I scroll and tap and play,
I’ve had 8 chats with Siri, boy I cant put it away.

The next three days or four, I browse the itunes store,
I bought a hundred seven apps im buying 40 more.

I’m sure you will agree, this great technology,
Is gonna help me be, at peak efficiency.

(Chorus)

The news I heard was great, a new firmware update, I think that ill install it now although its getting late.

And after this new patch, Ill install my apps from scratch,
the fact it took a day of life is such a minor catch.

It took me just a few more days I didn’t wanna fail
But now ive got my google docs and also google mail.
I got my contacts in my phone and also in the cloud,
I’m gonna save such time with that, I’ve never been so proud.

(Chorus)

A few things my phone lacks, Ill fix them with some hacks,
I now can send an email to myself, not just a fax.

It only took six weeks, and several hacks and tweaks.

With input and suggestions from a hundred iphone geeks.

I have four thousand facebook friends I take them where I go
And if I have a sip of tea they are the first to know.

I pity all those backwards folks who don’t have facebook walls,
I’m sure it takes them so much time to make four thousand calls.

(Chorus)

One day when I was loading apps, one thing led to the next, I emailed talked and tweeted and I sent another text,
I clicked on several videos, I surfed through several sites,
My nights turned into days, my days turned into nights.

One day my siri says to me “You need to get a life”
Are you sure you’re my siri, you sound just like my wife.
You haven’t seen your wifes face now, in over half a year,
Your children think that tatty bought a phone and disappeared.

You’ve really become selfish, think of yourself alone,
And maybe that’s the reason that they call it an Iphone.
I’m gonna help you one last time, my fine, time-saving chap,
I’m downloading for you right now, a great time-saving app.

When you click on this brand new app, your life will be your own,
when you click on this app my friend, it detonates your phone!

BOOM!!

(Final Chorus)

My life now is mine, Now that I’m offline,
Life’s not undermined trying to save time
You can keep those vids, ill take my wife and kids,
Life’s not undermined just to save some time.