Sometimes, people have difficulty dealing with their mistakes and thus feel discomfort towards the Torah. They feel that if not for the Torah, they wouldn’t need to feel bad about their sins because nothing would be wrong. This can cause them to wish the Torah did not exist and perhaps to even deny it. Having a low self-image is so painful, and the repercussions of this pain can be devastating. We must learn to react properly to our sins so this does not happen.
The truth is that any negative self-image we have is probably inaccurate. Our battles are challenging, and as long as we are trying to succeed, we should not be too hard on ourselves. Although we might think that if others knew what we were struggling with they would look down on us, that is not true. Most people would empathize with us, and though unfortunately a few people might belittle us, it is only because they have never experienced our challenges and can’t understand what we are going through. If they had been challenged, they might have fallen worse than we have. It is impossible for them to know they would do better, and they are making a mistake when they belittle our challenges. Ultimately, however, Hashem created all challenges, and He knows exactly what goes on. He knows we want to do good, and He never looks down on us or rejects us.
We should not be harder on ourselves than our loving Father Who made the rules. If we mess up, we should give ourselves a pat on the back for working so hard and then plan how to get back on the right track. Then we should regret our mistake, do teshuva to clean it up, and move on. No matter what happens, we must remember that although our battles are tough, they are also opportunities to succeed and reach greatness.
We must never forget that Hashem loves us despite our sins. No matter how badly we fall, Hashem still cares about us. He never gets angry with us, no matter how badly we sin.
The Gemara (Megillah 10b) tells us that when the wicked Egyptians were drowning in the sea, the angels wanted to sing shira to Hashem. Hashem did not allow it, saying to them, “My creations are drowning in the sea and you want to sing shira?!” Hashem was saddened that He had to kill His creations.
It is difficult to fathom the decadence of the Egyptians. They were some of the most wicked people who ever lived. They tortured and killed Jews for no reason other than that they were Jewish. The Jews endured slavery at their hands for about one hundred and forty years. The last eighty-six were so torturous that it was almost as bad as the Holocaust. The Egyptians did whatever they could to degrade every Jew. They beat them savagely for fun and derived sadistic pleasure from killing Jewish babies. They were some of the cruelest people to ever live.
When the Egyptians were afflicted with the ten plagues of open miracles that clearly showed Who the Boss really was, they still denied Him. Even when Hashem miraculously split the sea for the Jews in front of them, they chased after the Jews — right into the sea! Yet, wicked as they were, when they had to be killed, Hashem was saddened. He would not let the angels sing praise to Him, even though He had just saved His chosen nation! If this is how much Hashem loved these wicked gentiles, we cannot fathom how much Hashem loves every member of His chosen nation. Hashem never rejects any of His creations or stops caring about them, no matter how far they have distanced themselves from Him. Rather, He longs for them to come back to Him (Rabbi Shafier, Shmuz 8: “The Power of Prayer,” www.TheShmuz.com).
By realizing Hashem’s unconditional love for us, we can experience the most comforting feeling in existence. Regardless of how far we have fallen, Hashem still loves us and cares about us. No matter how horrible we may convince ourselves that we are, we must admit that we are not as wicked as the evil Egyptians. Therefore, we must admit that Hashem still cares about us and will continue to care no matter what we do. He loves us and values us unconditionally because we are His creations.
We are so fortunate that Hashem gave us the Torah. By realizing how much we gain from it and by acknowledging Hashem’s unconditional love for us, we will be excited to accept the Torah’s authenticity and to achieve incredible success in the battle of the generation.
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