Dear Duvid Chaim,
Thank you so much for your wonderful and holy sessions. Your guidance & encouragement give me tremendous chizuk, and most of all, it gives me hope and expectation to bezh"y succeed in this battle.
Just wanted to share my victory yesterday, as a direct result of your devotion.
I am going through a lot of RID (restlessness, irritability, and discontent) now, because of financial stress, and that is usually a big trigger for me to start surfing online. It is amazing how the same reason to not act out - you would think that a person in dire need of a Yeshua and wanting to be on Hashem's "good side" will never fall at such times - is actually the cause of feeling RID and subsequently fall. That's how it is with my addictive mind.
So yesterday afternoon I left my office, because I felt too weak and was afraid that I'd eventually fall. But Hashem had a different plan and I had three important reasons to go back during after-hours when no one was there (a trigger by itself). So when I came to the building, I surrendered the lust to Hashem and begged Him to save me, "Dear Bashefer, I cannot do this by myself, You are sending me here, and I ask of You to please save me. I'm giving all my lusting over to You. You can handle this whole package way better then me."
And Hashem didn't disappoint but helped throughout the whole time that I had to be there. Please understand, that in the situation I was in, it rarely ends with such a happy end. It was a huge accomplishment for me, and I attribute this success to your, DC, dedication in the past week.
I realized that the nisoyon is not whether to click on an inappropriate website or not, that may be the nisoyon for regular people - not for addicts. For me, the nisoyon starts way earlier, will I really surrender the feelings of RID and resulting lust to Hashem or not. Not just praying "G-D save me" with lip service and hope for the best - I have to totally give myself over to His power, and THAT is what saved me.
Thanks again, and may Hashem grant you with health, wealth & abundance of Yiddishe Nachas!