What is Simcha? Is it being happy? Is it being funny, laughy or giggly? Is it having a blast?
I'll tell you what Simcha is. Did you ever see an old Jew sitting by his grandson's wedding with a faint smile curling up at the corner of his lips? That is Simcha.
He's not jumping up and down, not hollering with his buddies, not downing bookers at the bar. HE is BESIMCHA.
SIMCHA is the feeling that one has when they feel that they truly accomplished something and did the right thing. When someone is in a complete state they are in a Matzav of Simcha.
So why is Simcha the key to breaking free of this addiction? Well, there really is no such thing as Simcha that one can feel and HOLD ON TO. Hashem is the mekor (source) of Simcha, and what people are really looking for deep down is accomplishment and fulfillment by obtaining a true relationship with Hashem.
But attaining Simcha is WORK, WORK, WORK. Any quick-fix will lead you to sin, and then to addictive behaviors that are so hard to rectify.
So the first step is to realize that the search for Lust is just a "mirage" of what you are really looking for. Not only doesn't it bring "real" Simcha, this road of lust - sin - addiction always leads in the end to depression.
So let's start looking for the real thing! Let's find things that can trigger REAL JOY!
If you need inspiration, watch little kids play, watch the birds that are plentiful now in the spring weather. Go out of your way to help someone. Compliment your spouse, employee, rebbe, student, neighbor, etc...
And the ultimate misameach is TORAH... I am pressed for time now, but I will B"eH post soon some eitzos on how to find sheer joy in our HOLY TORAH.
humbled and happy
Bardichev