Today on the train
Traveling back home again
After spending a successful vacation
In the mountains, in relaxation
Feeling rejuvenated and full of energy
To face life, get into routine readily
At a moment least expected
Caught unaware, now being tested
Thoughts flooding, flashing for attention
An urge, a trigger, a temptation
Who will know my thoughts, where my mind goes?
It won’t really be wrong if nobody knows
Excuses multiplying, drowning all sense
I know one thing, one desire which is immense
Racing closer to the edge, slipping dangerously
No consideration for the months of struggle previously
Mind clouded, being pulled in one direction
One that leads to emptiness and destruction
Out of the depths and roiling emotions
Emerges a cry, a plea desperate for direction
The truth of my inner desire to remain pure
Calls out from the confusion to Hashem to implore
‘Help me please, I can’t do this alone at all,
I’m on the verge, please stop me before I fall’
Miraculously He plants an idea in my mind
Listen to music, a distraction to find
Focusing deeply on the song, its words and meaning
Reawakened the will not to fall, strengthened the feeling
Continued concentration, the message absorbed
The ground became more steady, my vision cleared
The heat passed, gone was the urge
Back in safe territory, back from the verge
Thank You Hashem for Your continued guidance and protection
I owe it all to You, this time, in the past and all future temptations