The Library

I’ve just stood up

Brushed the dust off

Stretched my muscles

Ready to fight again

I fell after a really long streak

My longest ever

Felt I was past this struggle

Thought I’d grown above it

It’s 2 days later

I’m back at it

I shake my head in disbelief

It happened, I honestly fell

Besides for being humbled

This experience taught me much

Of which I’ll list a few

In an effort to absorb

First and foremost, ‘al taamin b’atzmecha…’

I must be vigilant always

Never let down my guard

Never become complacent

The yetzer hara is there waiting

When the enthusiasm wanes

When the focus blurs

It launches its attack

In essence it’s all an illusion

It seemed so exciting

So necessary

Only it was a mirage

And now, even though I fell

I can come back

Teshuva is open for me, wide

I will become purified again!

My perspective’s changed slightly

It’s not the numbers that are the central focus

It’s today, this moment

The opportunity right now

Somehow there is comfort

In this reassurance that I’m human

That I struggle and fall and get up

That growth, ascendance is possible

So right now I’m clean

This moment, this opportunity

That’s all that matters

Right now I’m clean