Dear Yid,
You have no idea how relieved I was with your letter. I was sure you were done with me. I'm happy you understood the situation and made such a good choice.
Yes, I know it hadn't been easy. You have made many mistakes in the past. You've tried to forget about me, to be independent... but, of course, your biggest mistake was when you chose Life over me.
It was so painful. I had such a hard time. I tried my best to get back with you, but you wouldn't hear a word. I would try to approach you on the streets, in your office, even in your dreams... but you totally ignored me. Yes, sometimes, you did look hesitant, but you were so faithful to Life... I couldn't take it!
The worst part of it all is that you seemed so happy with her! I could see she made you grow in a way I never managed or even aimed to. She taught you humility, but also pride; self-control, but also faith. She was always there for you. She believed in you. She knew your greatness and hoped that you'd stay with her. She was petrified to lose you.
Life was always proud of you; she loved you for who you were. She didn't mind that you had been in a relationship with me for years. Because Life took it one day at a time... And you knew that.
But then - you saw me, and I made myself beautiful. I sang your favorite song, I wore the clothes you used to like most. I understood that I should only come to you when Life was harsh to you.
So - I did it. I came. I showed you my understanding and I promised I would also take it one day at a time. I swore I forgave you for spending such a long time with Life and forgetting about me. Yes, you had been with her... but you could always come back to me.
And I'm delighted you've listened.
Now, we're on for a new journey. Life is over. Let's forget about Life. You don't need Life. You just need me.
12-steps, SA... that was all rubbish. Yes, it helped you, it changed you completely: you looked so much better; you were so fulfilled, so strong, so fantastic. But I convinced you that you would never manage anyway.
You know, deep down, I do think you can manage... but do you really think I want you to? No! Of course not. I need you way too much...
Self-love? Self-care? Higher-Power? That's all me.
Yes. I am your Higher Power. I'm stronger than you, ain't I? I'll always be there for you. I'll always make you feel good... Although, mind you, I love making you feel guilty after we spend a good time together. Because then, you turn to Life again, and discover that you're not worth Life, and that's Life is not worth living... so guess what happens next...? You come back to me!! I love our reunions.
So yes, it will be hard for us sometimes - there will be ups and downs...
But I know we are the best partnership in the world.
For - do you deserve better anyway...?
All my deadly love,
Lust