Did anyone out there ever have a serious problem with using the phone to listen to inappropriate things, or even worse- to have sexual conversation on the phone? Anyone ever spend money on this? What could one do about this? Unlike the internet, there are no filters that I know of for the phone! One can't live nowadays without a phone, especially when living with other people! Any thoughts on this?
I have used the phone in the past and especially chat rooms on the computer. Indeed, we cannot literally cut ourselves off from all forms of communication, unless you want to live in a cave somewhere.
All of these urges become easier to deal with when people are involved in a program, have a sponsor, go to therapy or even partner with someone on this forum to stay accountable. There is a reason we are attracted to talking with people on the phone. This is often an addiction of the "need for intimacy". For example, if someone grew up and was constantly yelled at, and every time he appealed for help he was ridiculed or abandoned emotionally, this will often cause him in later years to constantly be looking for this connection, especially from women, if he didn't get that as a child.
Once you explore your past and figure out what underlying subconscious issues might be causing it for you, you can then heal by talking about it and listening to how others have dealt with this issue. (Often, a good therapist can help with this as well).
I work on the computer. The last time I fell, my counselor made me stay away from the computer for an entire month. My wife had to read my emails and I answered them. But after a month, I no longer had that pull toward looking at porn. I was re-motivated to work and get on with my sobriety.
Get into a group, talk, listen, participate, get a sponsor, and you'll see, it will get much easier.
Also, go to www.slaafws.org and read the pamphlet on withdrawal.