After being clean for 112 days, I had a fall today. I was white-knuckling to a degree, happy to "make it through" each day.
Don't worry, no depression, I've already turned the fall into an aliyah since I'm already back on my feet just figuring out what trigger I allowed into my life that let this happen... My days have been alternating living a life of recovery (good) and counting the days of sobriety (not so good).
Dear Chaver,
You are my Hero. The spirit of Recovery lives within you! And as Duvid Chaim says, you gave your "fall' meaning and purpose, got right back up and and turned it into an Aliya! As we always say, it's quality over quantity, progress not perfection. And so you're not going back to square one, you're simply hitting Day 113 one day later!
The fact that we can fall means we're Human. What we do right after that is the true measure of our focus.
The fact that you can turn it around without falling into depression and self pity means you are an EVED HASHEM, and not a servant of your own Ego.
I applaud you for your inspiring strength and wisdom, your willingness to be a man and succeed, and for your honesty in sharing this with all of us.
CU tomorrow - keep moving FORWARD!!
Chazal say, "Sheva Yipol Tzadik Ve'Kam... Seven times a tzadik falls and gets up."
You are learning the "BIG 3" through this process - Fearlessness, Honesty, Humility (Big Book page 73)
And you will continue to be an inspiration to us all.