Day 70
The Flesh Is Weak
The Dangers of Overconfidence
It is Yom Kippur. We feel different. Closer. Alive. Even as we dread the ultimate outcome of the Judgment Day, we cherish the feeling of being like an angel. If only we could bottle this closeness and tap into it throughout the year.
And now the day is getting darker. We have been in shul a good portion of the day. Perhaps there was a short break and we have now gathered again in shul and are up to "the home stretch." We are reaching deep within ourselves to find untapped resources of inspiration.
We take out the Sefer Torah and what do we read? The story of Mattan Torah? No. An inspirational pas- sage in Devarim? No again. Perhaps Shiras Ha'azinu dealing with elevated and mystical concepts? No. None of the above. We read the portion in Acharei Mos dealing with the most base transgressions, arayos. This seems like such a let-down, a squandered opportunity.
Why, in fact, did Chazal instruct us to read the pas age of arayos at this time?
Chazal are telling us something we may have missed: Even as we stand as one in an exalted state of holiness, even on Yom Kippur at Minchah, we are no stronger than our weakest link, the flesh and blood bodies that house our neshamah, and we are thus vulnerable to the most debased aveiros even at this time.
There are no guarantees at any time and in any situation to protect us from terrible failures.
Overconfidence fosters recklessness, and the Torah is forewarning us that vigilance is always, but always necessary. Let's take an honest look in the mirror and ask ourselves how we trust our self-discipline. Imagine the following scenario, one that sadly does not take too much imagination.
You had the proverbial bad day. Stressful, difficult, vaguely depressing, or plain boring. There is no one around and you are checking your email on your desktop or smart phone, or perhaps just browsing the Web for some light entertainment, say for the latest news. But to shake off the "blues" you want a quick picker-upper. I am not referring to a calculated decision; it is more like something straddling the border between the conscious and subconscious. Something in your chemical makeup, perhaps your hormones, is looking for a jolt, a rush of endorphins to chase the "low" feeling away.
In the pre-web days, your only option was to saunter over to the kitchen and nosh on something to get the quick fix. The sugar fix may not be the healthiest or smartest alternative and may leave you with some unwanted inches around the middle, but who's perfect? But now the web is here, and there are easier ways to get the quick upper. You don't even have to leave your chair, and there is also no residual collateral damage when you step on the scale. Also, since there is no physical evidence of this momentary lapse, you are left with room for psychological plausible deniability. You can almost convince yourself afterward that it never happened. After all, where's the evidence?
Overconfidence is particularly problematic with regard to adolescents. At this age young men tend to be reckless and place themselves in compromising situations. Their self-control also tends to be weak, while at the same time they are physically drawn toward ta'avah.
It is silly and naive to be overconfident. It is downright foolish and negligent to be confident about one's adolescent son.
As the Yiddishism goes, "A mentsh iz nohr a mentsh - A human being is only a human being." We are imperfect and will not always have perfect self-control. It is simply inexcusable not to filter, or at least place a monitoring program, on each and every device that can access the Internet, including, and perhaps, most importantly, the smart phone.