The Library

Sorry to disappoint you guys who think that getting married is going to solve your problem. I'm 62, married 38 years and only made a genuine attempt to stop masturbating about a year ago. In fact, my problem got much worse after getting married. I did OK for a few months but then fell back to my drug.

Finally, I decided that my life had become so unmanageable that I had to take some drastic measures. I started with attending Dov's bi-weekly conference calls. He also has a bunch of fantastic audios posted on GYE (under kosher isle - Dov's Recovery talks and Dov's 12 steps). I call Dov my "Recovery Rebbe".

When I finally admitted the addictive nature of my acting out, things finally started to get better for me. I have just started attending live SA (sexaholics anonymous) meetings and just began to work with a sponsor to work the 12 steps of the program.

My bottom line recommendation to everyone is, if you think you may be an addict, contact Dov at wequithiding@gmail.com to talk to him about your problems. He's got 20 yrs of sobriety.

I will end by saying that to be really successful in marriage you have to surrender your sexual lust. Just thinking that you'll be able to channel your lust into your wife is placing a very unrealistic and unfair burden on any woman. The good news is that many guys have tread this path before and B"H have turned their lives around. (And don't get me wrong - I'm still very much a work in progress!)