Here I am on day 24, may Hashem fill all of our hearts with love. I went to Karlin Stolin this Shabbos morning for davening. They don't sing but they do scream for pesukei d'zimra. It was amazing, I was almost sweating - "nishmas kol chai" was so real! We are like malachim people. If we believe we can do it, we will. R' Zvi Meir says that the problem today is that nobody has any goals anymore!! This web site helps up reach our goals. A friend told me a good saying: "A goy hopes, a Jew believes!". Believe that Hashem wants to test us only in order to give us schar (reward).
I feel Hashem is testing me from all sides, but if we do not work to get holy eyes, how will we ever see Kedusha? Like we daven every day, "v'sechazena eneinu" our eyes will see Hashem's return to tzion, but will impure eyes see??? No they won't- but a promise from Rebbe Zvi Meir is that if someone is working on an avodah now -even if they have not obtained it yet- when moshiach comes they will be mashlim (complete) that avodah. Let us all bring ourselves together - we must daven for each other. Let's thank hashem for everything he gives up - see the miracles of health, wife, children, ect... then we can thank Hashem and ask that we be able to serve him wholeheartedly. He will listen!
Day 25 - be strong! We must believe we are being tested. We have energy but it was misused.. Do not fall at the first hurdle!! Keep going- Hashem has great things in store for us in this generation, that's why the y"h is on high alert. Imagine you are the battle chief, talk to your generals and commanders. Look them in the eye and say "we are headed for hard times but there is light at the end of the tunnel". Explain to them the reward and satisfaction they will receive when we get to the other side. I really mean this. Do it during davening. Speak to yourself, but let Hashem listen. He is the King and you are his general. All the powers of the world are at your command, they really are. Look your self in the mirror for two minutes and tell your eyes and soul "we will not fall today".
In avodas Hashem, all we need to do is want and try and Hashem opens the heavens. Today, day 25, I need extra help - my internet is not guarded (having trouble with my filter), my wife is sick, and there are other things triggering me, I want to act out and get back to what I always considered my "comfort zone". But be'ezras Hashem I will take that fire of desire that is in me and give it to Hashem. And hopefully at the end of the day I will post again and laugh at this post. I am so close to falling, but let's try just once when we feel we are going to fall, to go that extra mile. I believe we will be laughing at the end of the day that we even considered giving our loneliness to porn - because today my love and loneliness goes to Hashem.
I tell myself, just as a test, daven with the fire- learn with fire, greet and treat everyone with fire. This will change the "Aish" of the ruach tumah to a "Aish" of ruach tehara- b"h. WE WILL SUCEED!!! Chaunka is coming- let's get ready, starting today.