Realizing and admitting the severity of your problem is a good step towards recovery. You are recognizing that it's not just a little difficulty with shmiras eineyim. We can't recover until we first realize we have a major problem from which we NEED to recover.
All that stuff about the angels and being a Rasha, it's just your mind trying to give you more excuses to keep acting out. Forget about it. You're a Yid and you're holy, and as long as you're alive you can improve.
Get yourself into a recovery program. CHANGE YOUR LIFE to join a recovery program, if you must. Go to a group, admit you need help, even if you have to tell your wife "I'm joining a chizuk group," like many other people have done in order to join the GYE phone conferences.
Go to a 12-step group or a therapist if you have to (the former is much cheaper, and generally much more effective). Don't wait for one to come to you.
How important is your recovery to you?