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Hilchos Yichud

Saturday, 18 February 2012
Part 3/3 (to see other parts of the article, click on the pages at the bottom)

9. It is permissible for one man to seclude himself with a woman and her daughter in-law, or a woman and her stepdaughter.

10. It is permissible for a man and woman to be secluded together if there is a child old enough to repeat what happened during their seclusion, and it can safely be assumed that the child wouldn’t commit any forbidden acts.
a. Even though it is possible that the child could in theory be coerced into forbidden acts, it can also be safely assumed that the presence of another adult would enable the child to resist.

11. There isn’t any prohibition to be secluded with a girl under three, or with a boy under nine.
a. Nowadays, as there are unfortunately “frum” pedophiles, one should not allow a boy older than three to be secluded with a man who could fit the profile of such a menuval.
i. It is advisable to have a way to check-up periodically on a child’s situation with a tutor, mentor, or therapist etc. (This could include such things as video surveillance, for instance).

12. It is prohibited to appoint a watchman/guard over an area with only women, even if that person is a Kasher. This is true even if the guard is outside the premise and the women are all inside.
a. If the guard is on the street itself (or another very public area) then it is ok.
b. One shouldn’t have a male caretaker for one’s estate.
c. A woman should not hire permanent male help, nor should an unmarried man hire help from a single woman.
i. A single women should not live alone with a dog.
ii. It is preferable that a single man shouldn’t live alone with a dog either.

13. Although Chazal didn’t prohibit the seclusion of two males, the Mechaber maintains that two males shouldn’t seclude themselves together.
a. The Bach argues on the Mechaber seemingly like the Rema (4a).
i. Rav Moshe Fienstein suggests that seclusion of two males on a regular basis should be avoided.
Therefore many Yeshivos are makpid not to have locks on dorm rooms (so as to allow frequent traffic between dorm rooms), or to have always more than two boys per room.

ii. Married men who live away from home during the week etc. may seclude themselves together even on a regular basis.

14. While there isn’t a prohibition for a brother and sister to be secluded on a temporary basis they may not be live alone together on a permanent basis.

15. It is permissible to drive on in-town streets even if there is only one man and one woman in the car.

16. It is permissible to drive with only one man and woman in the car on trafficked roadways (highways).
However it is prohibited to travel on non-trafficked roadways (without there being the right combination of people).
a. This may sometimes be relevant to dating couples.

17. It is prohibited for a lone man and woman to take a walk together in desolate areas.
a. This may be relevant to shiduch dating and the like. Therefore, it is best to plan dates in locations that are lightly trafficked (at least one person every 10-15 minutes or so).
i. The passing of one time period of more than 15 minutes without any traffic does not render the area in question ‘non-trafficked’ as long as on average there isn’t more than a 10-15 minute time lapse between people. (really 10-15 minute is too long, but the assumption is that if something is frequented on an average of 10-15 minute than there are the times that there is only a 1-2 minute time lapse as well).

Hilchos Yichud may at times complicate work and social life. Here are a few ways to alleviate the difficulties that may arise from proper adherence to Hilchos Yichud:

1. Leaving the door open – if one leaves the door to the house open and one knows that a neighbor might pop in at any time, there isn’t a problem of Yichud.

2. Give a key to someone else – if you give a key (or code) to one or more people and you tell them that they may come in at any time, and it is practical for the person to come in at any time (i.e. a neighbor or the like) then one may even lock the door.

3. In a professional setting (e.g. doctors office etc.) one can request from a co-worker or assistant to peek in in the office every now and then.

4. If one knows that he has co-workers or assistants who come and go as they please than it is also permissible to close the door.

5. If there is continuous surveillance via video camera etc., it is permissible to be secluded in an otherwise prohibited fashion (it is questionable if non-constant surveillance will remove the issur of Yichud; in such situations ask a competent Halachic authority).

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