After a heroic 88 days clean, "Letakein" had a small fall and posted the following heartfelt poem:
The Falling Leaves
I huddled in my jacket
As the wind began to blow
I felt the leaves crunch underfoot
So dead, so lost, so low
I watched as more leaves fell
And they tumbled to the ground
The people would all step on them
Their loss would then resound
Yellow brown and orange
holding tightly to the tree
knowing if they fell off
that there their end would be
The leaves are broken now
And they won't be whole once more
Instead they're being buried
Deep inside the earthly floor
Laying in the darkness
They'll be wet and crumbled, cold
Waiting for the earth to hold them
For Spring to then unfold
Giving of their nutrients
Becoming something new
They will never be those leaves again
A new task they must do
So I huddle in my jacket
Like the leaves inside the earth
And I try to focus on my task
On what I'm really worth
I see one more leaf falling
I catch it and I kneel
I bury it inside the earth
To help me learn to heal
How beautiful and profound this poem is! When we fall, we are actually falling out of our previous selves; off of our previous level... Through Teshuvah, we are given the ability to become something entirely NEW. By dying to our old selves, we give birth to new life! That is why Balei Teshuvah can reach higher levels than Tzadikim. With each fall and renewal, we become a whole new creation with a whole new task!
Gevald! what a poem!
It's amazing to see how after a fall we get such great & deep thoughts out.
We get this extra feeling of Kirvas Elokim from Hashem after a Slip or Fall; this big Hug after we fall off the bike.
The Ohr (Light) only comes after the Choshech (Darkness).
We have to take every Yerida (Fall) in life, big or small (and we will always have them as long as we live because this is why we are here for) & grow from there.
The hardest part is to work on ourselves to the point that we can feel close to Hashem no matter in what situation we find ourselves.
I wish you & all of us great strength to be able to get to that level not to get shaken up after any kind of Yerida in life & be able to get up a shake ourselves off brush off the dirt & walk away as if nothing has happened.
If only we can get to that level to get up & Keep Trucking, the Menuval automatically already lost, even if he was able to give us some punches & even if he knocked us down, because his only goal is to keep us down, I repeat, "His Only Goal Is Too KEEP Us Down!"
There's no looking back! Lots wife did & she turned into a pillar of salt.
If there is Hurt, Pain, Suffering, Destruction, Falls, Slips or Anything Negative, we have to always look forward never back.
If we turn around, we stay right there where we are at that time & situation, as they say in Yiddish, "Aingezaltsen", like the Dead Sea that has no Life.
If we get up and look towards the future, there's life once again!
Rule number one is, don't get into a fight unless you've already accepted that you will get hit... The goal isn't to not get hit but rather sometimes the goal is to win and more often, the goal is just to stand up and fight for what you believe in and what is right, even if you know you won't win; To fight for justice... and you WILL get hit... Each black eye is a witness to your stand, and each fat lip is a monument for justice, and each scar is a gold medal for courage... Take pride in them!
You have chosen to fight... you could've run, but you didn't.... you have said ENOUGH to the addiction and to the "yetzer hara" and to the world that shoves lust in your face at every turn... As long as you always get up at the end, you have accomplished your goal. Wear your scars with pride...
So lets go! Last time I checked, there was a revolution going down here at GYE...Viva La Revolution!!