I am a Rebbe in a small Yeshivah where I deal with regular frum middle-school age boys who have not had much success in the regular school systems for various reasons. It was recently brought to my attention that many of these boys, ages 11-14 are addicted to pornography and hotzoas zera livatala. They view this as if it were normal and not even something to work on. After speaking with my Rav, I have been working privately, and recently in a more public setting, with them in this matter. I have a honest and non-judgmental relationship with them which helps them stay honest with me, knowing that I am there for them. I have instituted rewards and almost daily "check-ups" to help them fight these urges for the first time. Already I have seen a lot of success... more than I expected, actually. Many of them do not even know that this is assur, and they couldn't believe me when I said looking and thinking about these things is not allowed from the Torah. Hopefully, I will slowly and persistently work with them on this topic. I have even read some of the stories from your website to them, to show them where this can lead, in the hopes of sparking their input.
All the kids who were involved could not imagine stopping for even a few weeks at a time, so I guess they are addicted. I offered a two week, and then a 4 week, incentive to any boy who took up the challenge to be free from both porn and hotzoas zera. Two boys are already on their 3rd week. One boy did ask me how he would be able to sustain this when he feels very bored and doesn't have enough to do to fill his free time, and pornography is an easy time consumer. Another boy said he used it as a way to fall asleep at night. And yet another boy said his father caught him and did nothing about it!
An additional problem is most of these boys have iPod touches or other devices with Wifi, so that having blockers on their computer wouldn't really solve their problem. Others are very savvy and can break - in their own words - "any block" on a computer.
Some boys did become interested when I told them that there was a hot-line on this site for people who needed chizuk... Is this something practical and accessible for this age group? They did say that having someone to talk to when they were feeling weak would help a lot, and I encouraged them to call me, but maybe another venue would help.
One amazing thing that I did see, was that after our discussions, they were discussing the matter with each other in an open way about their nisyonos and giving each other their own brand of advice. Either way, I think a small revolution was created in this class to overcome a topic which I know I never heard about in Yeshivah.
Would you suggest anything else that I can practically implement and help all the boys in the Yeshivah understand and, if need be, change this dangerous habit?
(We sent this Rebbe our handbooks along with other useful advice and tips on dealing with this issue). But Rabbosai, if Klal Yisrael doesn't awaken to the dangers that we face today, we will be raising an entire generation of addicts - Rachmana Letzlan! Think about how the marriages and Yiddishkeit of such children will be affected one day!
Every Mashgiach and Rebbe in today's generation needs to be equipped with the tools and knowledge of how to deal with these issues. GuardYourEyes has set for itself a goal to make this a main-stream issue in today's religious world, and to provide information to all Mechanchim on how to deal with these issues. The handbooks we have today are just a start. They will IY"H be expanded and split into different versions, one of which will be designed specifically with Mechanchim in mind.
Besides for helping those who struggle, GYE plans on having an entire division (one day) dedicated just to "PREVENTION". But... we can't do this ALONE. We are Rabbim neged me'Atim. A few Maccabees, standing off against an entire WORLD.
Mi LaHashem Alai!
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Rabbosai, with your help we can change the world, one person at a time. If each of you does his part to heal themselves; and if each of you helps spread the word about our work amongst your e-mail contacts, or by writing anonymous letters to Rabbanim, askanim, mashgichim; and/or if each person donates what they can (see the bottom of this e-mail for donation options)... Together we can light up the NIGHT, one candle at a time!