Introduction
My friend was sitting with me, and he said once and for all that God had done for him what he could not have done for himself. His human desire had failed, and doctors had said that he was incurable.
And then something lifted him out of the land of the dead.
My friend promised me that if I did this, I would create a new relationship with my Creator. Faith in the power of God, plus a satisfying truth, honesty and humility, that keeping and observing the new order of things are all essentials that are required of me.
As soon as I accepted them in their entirety, the result was electrifying. There was a feeling of victory, accompanied by a tranquility that I had never experienced before. I felt as if I had been lifted up. God appears before most people in a gradual way, but His influence upon me was sudden and strong. For a moment, I was afraid, and I called my friend, the doctor, to ask him if I was still sane. He listened to me in wonder, and at the end he shook his head and said, “Something happened to you that I don’t understand. But it would be very worthwhile if you stayed with it.” (From “Bill’s Story,” The Big Book)
The 12 Step Program was first created by the A.A. organization. From there, it was adopted by many other organizations (S.A, O.A, G.A., N.A. and more). The meeting between alcoholic Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith, the two founders of A.A. took place in the United States in 1935. Bill himself recovered from alcoholism after undergoing a spiritual awakening. This experience originated when a friend, another alcoholic named Ebby, suggested that he should ask God for help. Bill did this, and found his situation had become much better while experiencing an immediate spiritual awakening. Until his death in 1971, he never drank alcohol again. In the message that he passed on to his fellow alcoholics, he emphasized the spiritual foundation of recovery, and also wrote this into A.A.’s Big Book.
In accordance with the above, the Twelve Step Program is a spiritual program that directs its steps towards a spiritual life and arousal. Each person goes at his own individual pace (From The Guide to the Twelve Step Program, Ronald Hoffman, Yaakov 2003)
Without any doubt, for a secular person who was never brought up to believe in a Higher Power, meaning God, a spiritual revelation is a very unique experience.
This experience has the power to help the addict overcome his addiction.
However, when it comes to a believer, a religious person who encounters his God on a daily basis, from when he opens his eyes in the morning as he says the prayer, Modeh Ani, during his three daily services, when he recites 100 blessings, studies Torah, and performs acts of kindness, how does the Twelve Step Program help him?
We could also ask this question from a slightly different standpoint. If the objective of the 12 Steps is to give the person a spiritual awakening, to distance him from his own self-absorption, and to provide him with a solution on a daily basis to his addiction problem, why are there so many religious, Torah-observant addicts, who have been following this path for many years, but it still doesn’t help them?
Shimon met with me at Retorno, accompanied by his son, a young officer in uniform.
Shimon’s wife was not present, for she did not believe that anything would help. Her faith in her husband’s ability to solve his drink problem had drowned in the same alcohol long before.
“I’m here because of my wife,” Shimon immediately announced. “She threatened me with divorce, and this time she was serious because she presented me with a summons to the Rabbinical Court.” I expressed surprise at his wife’s bold gesture (in fact, she had done exactly what I had told her to do).
Shimon, who had worked as a teacher of Tanach for many years and had Rabbinical ordination, was a pleasant and educated man. He started to deliver Torah insights, relate analogies, and tell stories. Neither the strong smell of aftershave nor the mint candies on his breath could mask the fact that this happy, good-hearted man was totally drunk.
A few months later, when he had been on the wagon for more than thirty days, we sat together and had an intense discussion.
“How did the Twelve Step Program help me?” he asked. “What did it give me that was new for me? The counselor who gave the seminar on the Twelve Steps reminded me of my students at the beginning of their life in yeshiva, when they first find God. But I was with Him for fifty years. I prayed to Him, I cried out to Him, I laughed with Him, and He was with me wherever I went. I was so close to Him that I even drank with Him at home, or in shul. I recited 100 blessings a day just on vodka!
Eli was referred to me by his mashgiach at yeshiva. He had carried a big secret with him for over 15 years. Eli masturbated uncontrollably five times a day. He suffered from this. He tried everything:“ learning mussar, fasting, praying, speaking to a Torah leader, but nothing helped him. Everyone told him that after he got married, the habit would go away, but this did not happen. “I’m a sinner!” he cried to me in my room. “I don’t understand. There’s a clear promise that the light of the Torah returns a person to the good. But none of my spiritual world is helping me to overcome this Evil Inclination!”
At Retorno, we have dealt with hundreds of addicts since 1990. Over half of them are from the religious community. They are addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, or have eating disorders. After treatment, around 70% of them began a new life, following a spiritual path that they had never previously experienced.
Yet how come such people had never experienced a spiritual life?
Addiction: Sin Or Disease?
When we bring examples from the Bible, the Talmud, or the stories of our Sages, we must do it very carefully. We do not intend to interpret the events that are mentioned or judge these great personalities and figures that shaped human and Jewish history. Our total objective is to learn from them for the here and now, as Rabbi Shimshon Raphael Hirsch wrote with regard to Genesis 27:1.
From the dawn of humanity, man has been faced with the choice of either doing good, doing the right thing, and following in God’s ways, or transgressing and following a second path that seems more tempting and provides instantaneous gratification. It is up to man to make his choice.
“Behold, I have set before you life and good, and death and evil. God does not interfere in human decisions, but like a caring and loving father, He looks on from afar but leaves the freedom of choice to the chosen one of Creation – man. God merely asks or even begs, “You will choose life so that you and your offspring will live.” (Deuteronomy 30)
It would appear, however, that the serpent, who could be described as the “Biblical pusher,” is stronger than logic, understanding, or the divine command.
“And the Lord God commanded man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat. But of the Tree of Knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat of it, for on the day that you eat thereof, you shall surely die.”
“Now the serpent was cunning, more than all the beasts of the field that the Lord God had made.”
“And the serpent said to the woman, ‘You will surely not die. For God knows that on the day that you eat thereof, your eyes will be opened.’ And the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that it was a delight to the eyes, so she took of its fruit, and she ate, and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.” (Genesis 2:16-17 and 3:1-6)
Without going into our Sages’ commentaries on the exact nature of the forbidden fruit, as to whether it was a vine, a fig, wheat, or a citron (Tractate Berachot), we see that this is the human being’s first encounter with his free choice. It is the purest type of encounter: there are no parents to blame, no peer pressure at this point, or unsolved oedipal complexes. There are no defense mechanisms here; man is unclothed. He has no masks to shield him from the options of choosing the restrictive good or the more tempting evil. And so man chose evil!
“Man is obliged to choose between two paths” – one is the narrow passage to redemption, based upon progress on the spiritual plane, and the second is the gateway to oblivion, caused by the pursuit of modern life. (NELSON, 1987, from N. Ronal 1995)
Ten generations after Adam’s sin, Noah went out from the Ark, and the first thing that he did was, “And Noah began to be a master of the soil, and he planted a vineyard. And he drank of the wine and became drunk.” (Genesis 9:20-21)
The Sages endeavor to explain Noah’s actions here and what the Torah is trying to teach us by telling us about them.
“And Noah began.” He started off with an action that was not appropriate, and from there he went on to other deeds that should not have been done. This was because a little damage at the beginning will bring about much devastation in the end. (Seforno)
An amazing psychological interpretation appears in the Shloh’s work, Viyite Kerem. Here, it states that Eve squeezed grapes for Adam, and Noah wanted to repair what had begun in God’s vineyard. But he did more damage by drinking too much, and because he went into something that was beyond his comprehension. He looked and was damaged, and these things are unclear and are only known to those who possess the hidden wisdom.
The words of the Shloh are based on an explanation in the Zohar that compares Noah’s drinking of wine with the wine that the sons of Aharon drank at the dedication of the Sanctuary. For this episode of drinking, they paid with their lives.
The deepest reason behind Noah’s drinking and the drinking of the sons of Aharon was to draw closer to God and to rectify Adam’s sin. It was a desire to take control of an action that was committed when its perpetrator was out of control, a will to remove all obstacles and screens, but, in accordance with the timeworn saying, “The way to Hell is paved with good intentions.”
“When we joined A.A., we discovered the mistake that was at the root of our opposition: we had never wanted to know what God wanted from us. We always tried to dictate our will to Him. We saw that one cannot believe in God and defy Him at the same time.” (From Twelve Steps, 12 Traditions, The Second Step)
Noah’s intoxication can be explained as the need to fill an existential void. Noah tried to save the world from the Flood. For 120 years, he attempted to convince and educate. He ran prevention programs, but nothing worked. Similar to today’s world, evil was just more tempting, stronger, and had more of an influence. “And there was a Flood upon the earth.” But when Noah left the Ark, he felt like a person just starting retirement, with no more challenges or worries. Sometimes a person tries to move emotions even when things are too good for him: “With the sweat of your brow, you shall eat bread.”(Genesis 3:19) Our Sages tell us that this is not necessarily a curse. A man by nature needs to be constantly busy so that he will not have the time to seek forbidden fruits.
Rav Dosa ben Hyrcanus said, “Morning sleep, noontime wine, drive a person from the world.” (Avot 3:15)
When the Jews were on their miraculous sojourn through the Wilderness on their way to the Promised Land, they lacked nothing. A pillar of cloud protected them during the day and a pillar of fire at night. Manna, a nourishing divine food, was also not lacking. Suddenly, “But the multitude among them began to have strong cravings. Then even the children of Israel once again began to cry, and they said, “Who will feed us meat? We remember the fish that we ate in Egypt free of charge, the cucumbers, the watermelons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic. But now, our bodies are dried out, for there is nothing at all; we have nothing but manna to look at.” (Numbers 11:1)
This is like a man who is staying at the Hilton Hotel and has everything he needs, but he still wants a portion of falafel from his local stand. There is no logical explanation for this beyond his strong desire. He is addicted because of his illogical desire to a negative, familiar, and evil feeling. The picture is painted in rosy colors – that we ate free of charge. (But who gave you food free of charge?)
They want meat, but they remember leeks, onions, and garlic. The whole thing seems totally insane!
The professional explanation of this strange Biblical phenomenon will be explained later on.
It was once thought that addiction to psychoactive substances only existed in poor areas. However, today, it is well known that when it comes to drug abuse, there is no difference between poor neighborhoods and the most exclusive areas in the world. The main difference is usually the type of drug and its price.
After Adam and Noach, the next person who drinks in the Bible is Lot.
“And it came to pass, when God destroyed the cities of the plain. And Lot went up from Zoar, so he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters. And the elder said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man on earth to come upon us, as is the custom of all the earth. Come, let us give our father wine to drink; let us bring to life seed from our father. And they gave their father wine to drink. (Genesis 19:30-33)
An alcoholic always blames others for his weakness and his drinking. Here, Lot probably would have also said, “My daughters made me drunk, so why am I to blame?”
However, if we take a closer look, we find that Lot was like a “normal” alcoholic, who drinks and gets drunk in order to escape. He had run away from Sodom, he was running away from frustration, pain, destruction, and the pillar of salt that he had left behind, who, moments before had been his wife!
In Tractate Pesachim 103, the Talmud talks about one of the most important Amoraim, who made the following request to his son: Rav said to his son Chiyya, “Do not make a habit of taking a drug.” Rashi explains this sentence and adds, “Do not learn to drink drugs because it will become a habit, and your heart will request it and you will waste money.”
I have no idea to which drug the Talmud is referring, but it is clear that it is talking about something very negative. Rav, the father, is afraid that his son, who is using this drug, will become addicted to it. He tries to persuade him in a logical manner, by saying, “It’s a shame to waste your money on it.” Apparently, this explanation did not really help, because we encounter Rav and his son Chiyya again, later on, in a similar situation (Avodah Zara, 31). Here the Talmud discusses the issue of drinking from wine that has been left uncovered. When wine has been left uncovered, it is forbidden to drink from it because a snake may have drunk from it and left its venom inside. The question is whether this applies to beer. “Said Rav, ‘Beer of an Aramean [who isn’t Jewish] is permitted [even if uncovered]; still I would not allow my son Chiyya to drink it.'” The Talmud asks why Rav differentiated between his students, whom he allowed to drink beer, and his son, whom he forbade to drink it. The Talmud explains, “Chiyya, being an invalid, should therefore abstain from drinking it.” Rashi explains that because Chiyya was delicate, and was sick, he was not allowed to drink it. Perhaps Chiyya was susceptible to alcohol, and was therefore forbidden to taste any kind of alcoholic drink.
The Talmud, in Tractate Pesachim 113, states, “The Holy One loves three: one who does not get angry, one who does not get drunk, and one who does not insist upon asserting himself” (bearing a grudge for what others have done to him.-Rashi).
A person who gets drunk is usually one who does not control his anger and does not give in. In other words, the three things described here could refer to one person, because a person who gets drunk is often full of anger and because of his self-centeredness he does not give in to anyone.
“Now we should recognize that we are happy to persevere with other people who have the same defects as us. We really love them. Who, out of all of us, for example, does not like to feel that he has risen a little – or even a lot – above those around him? Isn’t it true that we like to demonstrate our desire for gain as if it is an aspiration? It would appear almost impossible to love a desire. And how many men and women talk about love and are even convinced that they are speaking the truth, only in order to conceal their desire in a darkened corner of their brains?” (From Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, The Sixth Step)
One of the most classic addicts mentioned in the Talmud is Rabbi Elazar ben Durdiya (Avodah Zarah 17a):
“It was said of Rabbi Elazar ben Durdiya that he did not leave out any harlot in the world without coming to her. Once, on hearing that there was a certain harlot in one of the towns by the sea who accepted a purse of denarii for her hire. He took a purse of denarii and crossed seven rivers for her sake.” (Here the Talmud wants to emphasize the extent of Rabbi Elazar’s addiction – nothing would stand in the way of his desire to indulge it.)
“As he was with her, she said, “Elazar ben Durdiya will never be received in repentance.” (You have no chance of recovery; you are totally addicted!)
“He thereupon went, sat between two hills and mountains and exclaimed: ‘O, you hills and mountains, plead for mercy for me!’ They replied: ‘How shall we pray for you? We stand in need of it ourselves.’ So he exclaimed, ‘Heaven and earth, plead for mercy for me!’ He then exclaimed, ‘Sun and moon, plead for mercy for me!'” (The Sages explain that in his process of denial, he sought others to blame. It is as if the mountains and the valleys are saying, It’s life and society that made become like this. Heaven and earth allude to the excuse, “It’s because of my luck, my nature, my genes.” The sun and the moon correspond with the excuse of, “It’s because of my parents, the mistakes that all my teachers made in my education.” And all of them gave him the answer that the cure for his addiction would not be found with them.) He said, ‘The matter then depends upon me alone!’ Having placed his head between his knees, he wept aloud until his soul departed. Then a heavenly voice was heard proclaiming, Rabbi Elazar ben Durdiya is destined for the life of the world to come!”
We do not have inclinations for no reason. Without them, human beings would not be complete. Without our efforts to take care of our personal safety, to gather food and build a home for ourselves, we would not continue to exist. If we did not multiply, the world would not be populated. If we did not possess a social instinct (in other words, if we did not enjoy each other’s company), we would not be a society. Therefore, these urges that God gave us – the desire for sexual relations, the wish for material and emotional security, and our yearning for society -“ are very necessary and justified.
However, while these inclinations are essential for our continued existence, there are times when they go further than their actual function. With their intensity, which is often blinding and which is usually concealed, they drive us and insist upon taking control of our lives. Our sexual desires, wish for material and emotional security, and our drive towards an important place in society are all urges that dominate us. When a person’s natural inclinations become twisted, they cause terrible suffering. In fact, this is the cause of most of the suffering that exists in this world. And there is no single individual, no matter how good, that is totally immune for such troubles. Almost every single serious emotional problem is a case of a twisted inclination. When this happens to us, these natural properties – our inclinations – become a physical and emotional burden. (From Twelve Steps, 12 Traditions, the Fourth Step Rabbi Elazar ben Durdiya was not cured. He died during a brief moment of sanity. Our teachers, the authors of the works of mussar (ethics), state that if he had not died at that very moment, he would have returned to his addictions, a severe malady that no one has been able to get out from. One of the roots of addiction is self-centeredness. The person is sure that only he exists, that he deserves to get whatever he wants, and that God and everything else revolves around him.
The Talmud talks about another type of addiction that stems from the same source.
“After this thing, Yeravam did not return from his evil way.” (Kings I 13:33) (Sanhedrin 102a) (Yeravam ben Nevat was a king who ruled over northern Israel and divided the kingdom of Judah and its capital in Jerusalem. He was a prime example of a sinner who caused others to transgress and got the nation to worship idols.)
What is meant by “after this thing”? (The Talmud is asking the meaning of the word acher, meaning “after,” which appears in the Biblical text.) R. Abba said: After the Holy One, blessed be He, had seized Yeravam by his garment and urged him, ‘Repent, then I, you, and the son of Jesse [i.e.. David] will walk in the Garden of Eden.’ (The first time, the Holy One told him that he would put him before King David, the son of Jesse.) ‘And who shall be at the head?’ he (Yeravam) inquired. ‘The son of Jesse shall be at the head.’ ‘If so,’ [he replied] ‘I do not desire [it].(i.e. to repent)’
The Talmud is showing us a person who is addicted to honor. Because of this addiction, Yeravam established the capital of Israel in the north of country instead of in Jerusalem. Due to his addiction, he also wanted everyone to make pilgrimages to him. In effect, he was so self-absorbed that he was not prepared to listen to God!
All of the Twelve Steps of A.A. require that we act against our natural urges in order to diminish our ego. (From Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, the Fifth Step)
It is also written in Tractate Avot, Rabbi Elazar HaKapor would say: “Envy, lust and honor drive a man from the world.” (ibid. 4:21) A person who is addicted to envy, lust, or honor does not control himself and his life is worthless.
As most of us are born with many natural aspirations, it is not unusual for us to put them to one side sometimes, to go above and beyond to our original objective. This fact is not so strange at all. When our inclinations rule over us blindly, or when we want our inclinations to provide for us and give us pleasure beyond what is possible or what we deserve, this is the point at which we deviate from the measure of perfection that God wants us to achieve in this world. This is the measure of our character deficiencies, or if you will, the measure of our sins.
If we want it, God will forgive us for having faith in our failings. Yet he will never whitewash our transgressions like snow and keep us so clean and pure without any cooperation from our side. (From Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, the Sixth Step)
At the beginning of this essay, we asked what the difference is between an addict and a transgressor.
It could be said that a transgressor is a person who still has control. He is still able to choose between bad or good, and he is still sane, even if he has chosen something bad at this point.
An addict, on the other hand, has lost control. He will do anything to satisfy his addiction, which is, from his point of view, a remedy for his inner emotional pain. And when we say anything we mean anything.
The classic addict in the Scriptures is the ben sorer umoreh, the rebellious son. (Deuteronomy 21:18)
“If a man has a wayward and rebellious son, who does not obey his father or his mother, and they chasten him, and [he still] does not listen to them, his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city, and to the gate of his place. And they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This son of ours is wayward and rebellious; he does not obey us; [he is] a glutton and a guzzler.’ (He eats vast quantities of meat and drinks a lot of wine -Rashi) And all the men of his city shall pelt him to death with stones.”
(The rebellious son is killed because of what he will become in the end. The Torah penetrates to the end of his intentions, an end in which he will squander his father’s money, seek what he has become accustomed to, and stand at the crossroads robbing people. -Rashi)
Our Sages say that the rebellious son in fact never existed and never will (Sanhedrin). In fact, the Torah wants to shock us and shows us to where addiction can lead. Even a 13-year-old boy would be prepared to kill for the wine that he needs so desperately. Our Sages stress that this is not about an educational problem, or he could be punished rather than killed. We are not talking about a transgression here, but about a disease. Sin is an action that is controlled, while addiction is an uncontrollable sickness.
The Way to Addiction
Addiction is definitely a psychosocial problem that can be explained on a biological, chemical, psychological, emotional, and social level.
The question of what comes first may never be answered: Does the habit, the usage, create chemical changes that lead to the addiction, or is the need, the addiction, caused by a biological or chemical deficiency in the brain?
In Shulchan Aruch, the Rema explains that the blessing that is recited each time a person leaves the bathroom,”Who created man with wisdom, heals all flesh, and performs wonders” is referring to the wondrous connection between the physical and spiritual worlds. This is the psychophysical problem of when a person who is afraid creates a chemical process within the body that leads to physiological changes. Why, for example, does a person who is very angry sometimes end up with a heart attack? What creates this connection between the spiritual and material worlds? It is a miracle, for it is Divine Wisdom.
The more addicts we treat, the more we find a very common factor between all of this. Without a doubt, the addiction is neither a problem nor a symptom. Addiction is the incorrect solution to a crisis. This crisis is an unbearable, inner, emotional pain that is impossible to live with.
Why one person becomes addicted to alcohol, another to drugs, and a third to gambling, sex, or eating disorders is another question as yet unanswered. It is possible that the key is the first encounter between the problem (the abovementioned pain) and the proffered solution that was in the environment and became the solution to the problem over time – in other words, the addiction.
If we try to analyze some of the examples we have brought, we will see that the common factor between addicts is pain. An additional factor that exists between addicts is extra sensitivity.
As mentioned above, Lot was fleeing from frustration. His entire world had been destroyed. Lot’s daughters, who also performed an insane act (incest), were also the victims of their father’s sexual abuse (on an emotional level). When the angels who prophesied to Abraham and Sarah about the birth of their son Isaac came to Sodom to destroy the city and rescue Lot, it is written:
“The people of the city, the people of Sodom, surrounded the house, both young and old, the entire populace from every end [of the city]. And they called to Lot and said to him, ‘Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us, and let us be intimate with them.'” This must have been a very scary situation. And Lot’s two daughters saw their father walk towards the doorway and were sure that he would stop these criminals. Instead, what happened? And he said, “My brethren, please do not do evil. Behold now I have two daughters who were not intimate with a man. I will bring them out to you, and do to them as you see fit; only to these men do nothing, because they have come under the shadow of my roof.” (Genesis 19:4-8)
Many prostitutes do what they do because they were sexually abused in the past, and now they are trying in a certain sense to have control over men. Sex, for them, is an emotion, a remedy for their pain.
Chiyya, the son of Rav, who used drugs, grew up in a home where there were constant fights between his parents. The Talmud relates that each time that Rav asked his wife for something, she would do the opposite. He asked for lentils, and she gave him small peas, and whenever he asked for small peas, she gave him lentils. When his son Chiyya grew up, he gave her [his father’s instruction] in the reverse order. ‘Your mother’, Rav once remarked to him, has improved!’ ‘It was I,’ the other replied, ‘who reversed [your orders] to her.” His father went on to say that even though Chiyya lied for the sake of a mitzvah, he should nonetheless not tell untruths in case he teaches his tongue to lie. (Yevamot 63a). Indeed, the Talmud relates that Chiyya had problems with drink and drugs, as mentioned above. In fact, his behavior was not normative, to the extent that his friend Huna had to hit him for his offensive behavior. (Rashi on Erchin 16b)
The children of Israel who expressed their desires in the wilderness were also looking for excitement. Two hundred and ten years of slavery definitely affected their emotional world. Frustration, humiliation, powerlessness, and despair are all emotions experienced by a slave. “The little escapes” of the Jewish nation from their lives of daily suffering were through garlic, onions, and radishes. Eating in a certain situation can release dopamines to the pleasure centers within the brain, which creates the eating disorders that turn food into a drug.
Therefore, when the children of Israel said, “Who will feed us meat?” they were remembering the onions and garlic rather than meat (which they did not have in Egypt). They wanted another shot, another joint, just like the old days.
When using becomes a solution, and the solution becomes the problem, a dual problem is created. On the one hand, the addiction no longer soothes away the initial pain, and on the other hand the body can no longer manage without this addiction, which becomes a biological and psychological malaise. Therefore no logical argument will convince the addict to halt his path of self-destruction and find a new life for himself.
The story of Rabbi Elazar ben Durdiya, who died but was never cured, is a natural, logical tale. However, there is one way that an addict can pull himself out of the mire in which he is sinking, and that is to seek the help of a power that is much greater than him and exists outside of him. This is when a person realizes that he is unable to overcome his addiction on his own, when he feels prepared to yield his own ego and his logic, which have not helped him until now, or he cries out, :From the depths I am calling You, O God.” (Psalms). The addict needs to reach the lowest point of suffering in order to free himself from his self-absorption so that he can loosen up and search for answers that are outside himself.
“Fools, because of the way of their transgression. Their soul despises all food, and they reach the portals of death. And they cried out to the Lord in their distress; from their straits He saved them.” (Psalms 107:17-19)
Reish Lakish (an Amora who used to be a famous robber that repented and became one of the most important Amoraim in the Talmud) said that a person’s inclination overcomes him every day and seeks his death. “Without God’s help he would not be able to [conquer his inclinations].” (Sukkah 52b)
A person who thinks that he can overcome his inclinations will never be able to extricate himself from the mire.
Detoxification In The Scriptures
The description of the Biblical Nazirite is an example of detoxification.
A Nazirite is a person who decides to stop drinking wine completely because he is afraid that wine would cause him to disengage from himself and then from lif:
“A man or woman who sets himself apart by making a Nazirite vow to abstain for the sake of the Lord, he shall abstain from new wine and aged wine; he shall not drink [even] vinegar made from new wine or aged wine.” When the Nazirite has completed his period of abstinence, it is written, “On the day his period of naziriteship is completed, he shall bring him to the entrance to the Tent of Meeting.” (Bamidbar 6:1-13)
Rabbi Simcha Meir of Dvinsk, author of Meshech Chochmah, writes,”He shall bring him.” This sounds as if other people bring him, but surely he brings himself. And this is to know that when his completeness and his elevation are complete (meaning, when he can return to life having cured his addiction), his inclination cannot lead him astray and his desires do not lead his intellect to err. He looks at anything related to himself in the same way as others, and his heart is not concerned with his own self-love. Then he can be sure that he can take from the world’s pleasures in the most appropriate way, not going to excess, because the Holy One did not intend that we should not enjoy this world, but it should be within the boundaries of health.”
These amazing words teach us two fundamental points. First of all, addiction is an illness and it therefore needs a cure. We are not talking about an educational problem. The individual addict cannot overcome his problems on his own because they are entrenched deeply within him, and he gives himself every reason and excuse as to why he should continue to be a user. Secondly, the author of the Meshech Chochmah says that in order to get out of the mud, a sideways glance is necessary. Therefore, it is written that at the end of his period as a Nazirite, he shall bring him, as if he is bringing someone else. He will take a sideways glance and guide himself as to where to go, who to associate with, and the things from which he should distance himself.
It is not easy to reach this level, or to cure oneself from this type of malady. Therefore, the Zohar writes, “For the one who miraculously makes an oath at a time when the person is coming to be purified, is purified. This same person who sanctifies himself will be sanctified, and holiness will be spread over him from above.”
There is no cure for this sickness. The way to save an addict from the mire of this malady is for him to understand that he needs help, to seek help, and to be strengthened by the rope that God throws him from above. For this reason it is written that he “miraculously makes an oath.” If he swears, meaning that he obligates himself, this is when the miracle occurs. Regular Torah study, spiritual life, and the mitzvot do not help here. There needs to be some kind of spiritual “surgical process” of naziriteship, healing, and the miracle, and only then can the person return to his spiritual routine.
King David wrote in Psalms, “Wash me thoroughly of my iniquity, and purify me of my sin.” (Psalms 51:4)
The Midrash says, “Reb Yassa said, ‘My son, open me an aperture like the eye of a needle, and I will open for you a doorway through which wagons and carriages can enter.'” (Shir Hashirim Rabbah 5:3)
When an addict reaches his lowest point, he only needs to disengage himself from his ego and ask for help in order to open an aperture the size of eye of a needle, and then the miracle will occur. This is the first of the Twelve Steps.
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
“And the children of Israel were armed when they went up out of Egypt.” (Exodus 13:18) One out of five left, and the other four died during the three days of darkness. (Rashi)
After a whole year of Plagues in Egypt, open miracles occurred, and God’s messengers Aaron and Moses brought down the mighty Egyptian empire. Yet not everyone was able to conquer their addiction to slavery.
In fact, only 20 percent were cured, and the rest died in Egypt. The success rate of Moses and Aaron’s “treatment center” was no more than one-fifth, according to our Sages.
To be a believer, one does not need to only pray and perform mitzvot. In fact, the Talmud tells us that a person can apparently observe the Torah and its commandments, but still end up in Hell. (Yoma 72b):
“Said Rabba to his disciples: ˜I pray you that you may not inherit two hells.” Rashi explains that this refers to one who “labors and toils in Torah in this world and does not fulfill it will go to Hell when he dies, and you will not enjoy life in your world.”
The Vilna Gaon explains that man can observe Torah and mitzvot, but if he has one bad character trait that he does not subdue, he does not believe in God.
We thought that we kept the commandments in a serious manner. But when we were honest with ourselves, we discovered that we either did them superficially or went to the opposite extreme and adopted the emotional side, which we considered to be true religious fervor. In both cases, we sought to receive a free gift. In fact, we never “put our house in order,” which would have been absolutely essential to enable God’s kindness to enter and banish the “demon drink.” We did not do any significant soul-searching, we did not make amends for the things that we did to those whom we harmed, and we never actually did anything for anyone else without expecting a reward. There was no “we will do Your Will” and we never understood the love of God or the love of other people. For this reason, we continued to numb ourselves and to remain impervious to the divine benevolence that would return us to sanity. (From Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, The Second Step)
God only dwells within the heart of the person who removes his ego, who gives in, and yields without hurting any others or himself, who does profound soul-searching, and seeks out his failings in order to correct them.
Only through action can we remove the stubbornness that always blocks God’s entry. Of course, faith is essential, but faith in itself is not enough. We are able to prevent God’s involvement in our lives, despite our belief in Him. (From Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, The Third Step)
Addiction is an illness, not merely a spiritual weakness. A person can practice the Torah and its mitzvot, but can also suffer from diabetes or pneumonia.
Addiction is the “diabetes” of the spiritual world. It is a cunning, progressive, dangerous disease. The Twelve Step Program is the cure, a cure that heals and immunizes the spiritual-emotional world of the person. Religious Jews who follow the program every day attest that the program has helped them to draw closer to God in a way that they were not familiar with previously.
The program causes them to disengage from anything that prevented them from experiencing the beauty of Judaism through Torah and mitzvot.
We began to understand that God is not only a “substitute player,” who joins the game only in emergency situations, as we had previously thought. The idea that we could live our lives by ourselves, with a little help from God here and there, began to evaporate. Many of us, who previously defined ourselves as religious, became conscious of the limitations of this approach. When we refused to make God our first priority, we denied ourselves His help. But now we have begun to understand the meaning and hope within the words, “I am essentially nothing on my own; our Father will do the work. (From The Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, The Seventh Step)
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