by Michele Rosenthal on May 11, 2015 in Living in Recovery, Living with Addiction
If you were to think of your brain as a computer your job is to design new programs that overwrite the existing ones.-Michele Rosenthal
You make yourself (and your friends and family) all kinds of promises to break that old addicted habit. You focus; you do the work to stay on track, making the right choices and taking the best actions to live a healthy life. Then, something happens. It could be an unexpected phone call, an altercation at work; the enviable success of your partner. The next thing you know your body and mind are singing the siren song of craving.
You’re only human. Sometimes, you’ll be able to withstand the call of addiction. Other times, you have given in. You’ve done good recovery work, so when cravings clamor does it mean the work’s not working? And when you cheat (even the tiniest bit) does it mean you’re fatally flawed? No way! The truth is, you’re hard-wired to crave. The history of your very DNA holds the imprint for powerful desires, even when they’re not good for you. According to Dr. Omar Manejwala, author of Craving: Why We Can’t Seem to Get Enough, there are evolutionary, biological, and social factors that combine to create a craving culture in both your mind and body. While there may be history, science, and society behind your cravings there is much you can do to stand in front and stare them down.
How to Stop Cravings before they Start.
The key to making any change is being proactive. That is, ahead of the curve of the slippery slope into disappointing yourself. The more you make choices and take actions on a daily basis the more you train your brain in new ways—ways that can create new embedded habits that oust the old patterns. If you were to think of your brain as a computer your job is to design new programs that overwrite the existing ones. Dr. Manejwala suggests making a habit of these seven actions to counteract, counterbalance, and eventually neutralize the craving frenzy.
A key element here is to begin deliberately taking new action rather than waiting for change. Specifically, this relates to making decisions about what you need to start doing. Dr. Manejwala counsels, “Shift your mindset towards ‘What do I need to start doing?’ and away from ‘What do I need to stop doing?’”
A question to spark action in this area: “What do I need to start doing today?”
A question to spark action in this area: “What can I do to help someone right now?”
A question to spark action in this area: “What do I need to do to avoid situations that make me crave?”
A question to spark action in this area: “What activity makes me feel tied to a sense of meaning?”
Cravings, of course, meet your needs. But when those cravings are tied to unhealthy addictions they meet your needs by creating negative circumstances that wreck havoc with your life. Identify your most significant needs (i.e. feeling good, experiencing a sense of connection, etc.) and develop new, healthy actions that answer them in more productive ways.
A question to spark action in this area: “How can this need be met in a more healthy way?”
You’ve gotten used to doing things in a certain way. To stave off a craving, you must do things in a new way. Take stock of the habits that support your craving. Identify what needs to change, plus what new, healthy habit can replace the old one.
A question to spark action in this area: “What healthier habit would I like to develop?”
A question to spark action in this area: “Where can I go to find people I like and who will understand me?”
While it may be true that as a human you’re designed to crave, it is possible to change your cravings. It may even be possible to choose what you crave. Taking a page from the science behind your cravings consider this: When you match the feel-good reward dopamine dump with any activity you choose, then you might actually start to hard-wire your own cravings with an element of choice, calm, and control. I did this in my own recovery by substituting an addiction to dance (a healthy activity that made me feel high) for my trauma-related addiction. What would it take to start amping up your craving for recovery? Now, that would be a craving worth yearning for.