Allan J. Katz is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Coach and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT). He and his wife have helped save many marriages through GYE. To speak with Allan, call our hotline 646-600-8100, press Extension 2 for “Treatment” and then press 3 to be directed to his phone line. Allan and his wife can help you build trust back into your marriage and discover true intimacy, instead of intensity. (The initial call is free, and then you may decide to engage Allan in long-term or short-term coaching).
You can download his FREE e-book, Mask in the Mirror: Chizuk for people wanting Shmiras Eiynaim at https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/mask-in-the-mirror?category_id=150
Accepting and living in reality is the foundation of the recovery process. When we have faith in a Power greater than ourselves, we accept the fact that we are no longer in control and that what is happening for us at this time is in our Higher Power’s hands, not ours. We cannot change the future. When we worry about the future we become anxious, restless, irritable and discontent. When we relive our past we get depressed. Reality is being able to trust others and our Higher Power.
When we have both faith and trust, we are living in reality. Accepting the things we cannot change, changing the things we can. It’s also a matter of awareness. Living in reality is observing the world around us for what it is: wondrous, eclectic, sometimes cruel, and sometimes serene. We don’t judge other people, understanding that everyone has challenges. Our job is to overcome our challenges, seek what will make us fulfilled in life, and discover our life’s purpose. Why has our Higher Power allowed us to live through the pain and suffering of addiction? Some of us are lucky to be alive.
Reality is living in the present moment. Not worrying about the future and not reliving the shame messages we received from our past traumas, abuse, death or grief. What happens when we leave reality? We begin to fantasize and self medicate, then addiction sets in which ultimately causes shame, guilt, low self-esteem, and depression. The addiction cycle continues to spin around and around until we hit bottom.
My New Year’s wish for you is to discover what it means to live a fulfilled life with emotional sobriety, not just stopping obsessions and compulsions. We’ve seen from research that following the 12-step program, getting a sponsor, getting a therapist, attending group therapy is the path to emotional sobriety. Thank you for the trust you’ve given me this past year. When I can help you in any way to reach your potential toward a more fulfilling life, let me know by email or visit the website.