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Why I Can’t Use Porn

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

My G-d, if I had porn available to look at and actually used it, I'd be toast. My life (i.e. my state of mind) would be immediate gehinom. I'd be gnawing myself to death with my little, desperate and complicated thoughts about 'ruchiyus or struggles with other people; everyone else in my life would be a total pain in my behind; and on top of that, I'd need to keep acting out worse and worse no matter how damaging it is, till I get into so much pain that I need to stop again...for a while...and over again.

So I cannot afford to look at porn, at all. It takes my mind away. And my mind means my life, just as it does for you, me and everybody.

That is what always happens to me when I intentionally use lust.