2) "Program living" means using the steps that I worked with my sponsor, to actually live with less pain today, so that I do not need to drink today. If I believe that I need to drink, even G-d will not stop me. He does not. If I do accept that I do not need to drink, then G-d can give me a reprieve from my lust and I can stay sober. It depends on my humility and that's what working the steps is about. Acceptance of His Will for me (my $$, looks, health, intelligence or lack thereof, wife, kids, whatever), and of my true place inside my little corner (family, shul, etc.) of humanity. This comes through working the steps.
Normally, that means that my life will be pretty nice and I will have few temptations - if I use these steps today. "Program living" also means seeing some other people as sick sometimes - as the RMB"M writes in his Shmoneh P'rakim, most people are a bit sick (and he even meant even himself, of course). Our annoyers are often lacking in some skills, some understanding, or some motivations they have are unhealthy. So? We learn how to live with that without having to go on the crusade to fix them. That takes real humility - fortunately only a tiny bit, though! But we can forgive them their errors, for we see our own disease most clearly of all - if we are sober. We know our tendencies, and can be patient with them, pray for them, and even forgive sometimes. Like tefilah Zakah - the Jewish way is to forgive everybody - everybody - and only reserve the right to claim money owed per Bais Din. But no hatred, no blaming, no self-pity. If we want to be healthy and stay sober, those pleasures are just luxuries we can't afford any more. They kill us and make us need to act out. Can't afford them, so don't do them...or at least we do not laguish in them and get help soon to get out of them by making a call or two, writing another mini-4th step on it, and praying for the person we resent to pieces.
"Program living" also means taking actions of love to others - especially toward the ones who annoy us or hurt us. This is the Jewish way, as seen from many stories of Rav Yisroel Salanter and the B'al Shem Tov, and many Chaza"ls, as well. Hashem does this, kevayochol (per the sefer Tomer Devorah by the RaMa"K) all the time. He takes the actions of love giving shefa to us even though we are masturbating our brains out, hurting others, and even though so many humans are hating Him or not believing in Him at all! How do we like being irrelevant to someone we love? Yuck.
But G-d is amazing - Noirah. That's midas haRachamim, the midah of Yaakov Avinu, who called Him "Noirah". Program living is the addict being more like this particular midah of Hashem. It is not necessary for normal frum yidden. Nice...but not necessary. For the addict, he cannot remain sober without it. And that goes for Jew or gentile. Program guys of all walks of life know this.
Finally, I want to share with you a surprise (at least per the AA's) that I learned from my SA sponsor. The program is not for getting us sober. None of the steps are about quitting drinking/sexing. The only step that even mentions the addiction is the 1st - and that's just to get us in the door of living honestly with ourselves, with people, and finally with G-d. So what are they about?
The steps are only about learning how to live so that we can stay sober. That's all they are made for. They enable an addict to tolerate sobriety - with his G-d's help. For, in recovery we finally really see that our drinking/lusting/acting out it was never actually our problem. It was living without them that was our true problem. Sobriety was intolerable. The steps are here to change that.