I've been having UPS and DOWNS and UPS and DOWNS. I had a few days when I was really taking some lustful looks at people I shouldn't be looking at.
I've been thinking about "WHY?"
As Duvid Chaim always says (from the Big-Book), we're all fueled by our R.I.D--Restlessness, Irritability, and Discontent. That's what makes us escape to our "drug of choice"; to our pain-killer.
But, underneath that is EGO. It's only because we're egotistical, we want everything to go our way, that we end up filling up with R.I.D.
So it's been helping me somewhat to look at each situation and realize "here's R.I.D because of THIS, here's R.I.D because of THAT". I've been disarming each situation as it arises.
BUT sometimes I feel like I'm standing on the seashore in the middle of a hurricane. I keep getting knocked over by waves of R.I.D.
So I've started looking a little deeper. I am operating on EGO. It's not as obvious as it was before, but there MUST be some EGO underlying all my interactions. Otherwise I shouldn't be getting R.I.D over and over again. So I'm looking deeper for it now. I'm trying to replace it with HUMILITY.
It's a new realization, but I think it can make a big difference in my life.