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Surrender

Thursday, 09 February 2012
Part 3/4 (to see other parts of the article, click on the pages at the bottom)

Luria writes:

The part quoting from the White Book is pure gold!! It really felt like someone was reading my thoughts and analyzing my feelings. A little scary, to be honest!!

I've always enjoyed and had a knack for analyzing and understanding how people behave and function. I occasionally browse through some of these self-help books, usually in areas that I have never struggled in or are not relevant to me (e.g parenting) and am often not impressed. I find that much of what is written is fairly obvious ; I feel that given a few years of experience, I could have written the book too. But then every once in a while, I find an author who just "gets it"; who really understands how people work.

A couple of months ago, I was browsing through a book by Rav Twerski called "addictive thinking" and was completely blown away. Not only did he "get it", but much more than that - I really felt like he was talking directly to me. I thought this was strange, as the topic was not relevant to me at all - "addiction"?... (cue: eerie music here) but I never really gave much thought to it (I'm starting to think I understand why).

Well anyway, I got practically the exact same feeling reading the SA book. It is excellent and should be mandatory reading for anyone struggling with this addiction.

There is a step that I should have taken a while ago in my battle, but I have been pushing it off till now. The quote from the SA book made me realize that I've got to take that step. Here's the quote:

Usually we find that our initial surrender was incomplete and we begin to see some loose ends. We discover some rain checks secretly stashed against future need. Like alcoholics hiding their bottles.

"It's her key; I can't throw that away."
"I'll keep his phone number; I may be able to help him sometime."
"I'll get rid of the magazines later..."

I actually worked up the courage today to call someone about my issues and hopefully by tonight I'll throw my shmutz away. One more loose end tied up!!

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