Someone asked Dov:
Why is it that we are hopeless etc without Hashem? It is true that we can't fight lust, but if we learn to really handle our irritations, we will be just fine. And for that, can't we do it on our own by retraining the way we think about ourselves and the world and what its all about and why we are really here?
Dov Replies:
The way I look at it, I am not powerless over trying. I am only powerless over succeeding. If I am smart (which I sometimes am) I will try to see things in a way that I will not need to resent and act out emotionally inside or outside - but that is not the answer to success. The steps are all about taking the actions of sanity and love, and thereby allowing G-d to work through us. As the Kotzker said, he only comes where people let Him in. Indeed. That is what the power of bechirah means, for an addict. Allowing Hashem to help me by my own unnatural and uncomfortable choices. "Ein hadovor tolui ella bee."
But success at living well and the the benefits of success are all a brocha from Hashem, and the experience I have, that the results are so far beyond anything I could have possibly imagined or were shooting for, are all the proof I need that I did not 'do it', in the end.
It seems to be exactly like Parnossah. We definitely see people making more money when they take on another job - but mezonosav are ketzuvos from R"H. It is all from Hashem, no? So are we apikorsim when we are mishtadel?
Maybe we are - but that is not because we are being mishtadel, for tzaddikim through all our ages have had jobs (and worked hard!) - yet they surely were not apikorsim! So nu? There must be a trick to working like a dog (excuse me!), yet still being aware that all the parnossah (the success) is totally a brocha from Hashem. It is exactly like sobriety, and in many ways. Neither are the tachlis, neither are essentially good or bad - but lack of parnossah/sobriety leads to starvation/insanity and a ruined and useless life...and having sobriety/parnossah are the ticket into life, yet not life itself.
Sadly, there are many who see sobriety/parnossah as the tachlis of life. A mishega'as, no? It's like saying the purpose of life is 'not dying'. Gevalt.
Work it out and let me know what you come up with. I am not saying I have all the answers, but this is how I try to live it all, be"H. And it seems to be working so far, though He is not through with me, as I have a long, long way to go.