Until today, my oldest son and I have deep difficulties in communication and basic lack of faith in each others' love that I trace directly to the fact that he was an obstacle to my lust back then, before I started in recovery. It actually gets more obvious (and more painful to see) as I get saner, even though things are definitely on the mend. In fact, while I was acting out - or as I like to put it: "when I act out"- everyone close to me is a pain in the a%%. The relationship I have with my "sobriety babies" (the ones born after I got sober and started recovery over 10 years ago) and the ones born before, in those years of turmoil, is very different.
And as far as the relationship of wife and I, it never ceases to amaze us how little we really had to do with each other before sobriety. I have come to believe that I avoided her emotionally. Even though I "seemed" to be a decent husband and a nice guy to live with for the most part - aside from the unsightly betrayal of frequent escapades in desperate search of that good 'ol lust-high, of course.
Just a thought.