I heard from someone who is sober for many years in SA, that for the first 7 years he sat in SA meetings and didn't gain anything from the groups. He was "too smart" for the program, and it didn't make its way into his heart. Finally, at wits end, he decided to just nulify his da'as and do whatever he was told. He said to the group and to his sponsor, "just tell me what to do, and I'll do it". Suddenly he began to truly internalize the program - and he is sober since then!
The 12-Steps are about "surrender"; recognizing we can't do it ourselves and being willing to let go of our "self" so that a Higher Power can do it for us. How do we let Hashem do it for us? By letting go of our "selves".
This same person told me, that today, he doesn't do anything on his own will. He listens to what his sponsor tells him, what his friends tell him, what his wife tells him, and even what his CHILDREN tell him. He asks - and he listens... He no longer relies on himself to run his life.
By doing this, we learn how to let HASHEM pilot our lives.
This is the core of recovery.