The fact that a particular addict arose in a dysfunctional family is played-down a bit in the steps. The steps are focused on accepting the simple truth about me as I am today. Many of us move easily into whining, blaming and self-pity when we focus on our families and their wierdnesses. As I have been taught, looking into my past is typically viewed as only having value in:
1- helping me admit the truth about myself now, and
2- helping me let go of guilt/self-loathing by discovering that many of my painful and destructive emotional and behavioral tendencies were certainly learned. They are not my fault. But I still have them. (I used to hate myself for me).
Suprisingly, this also removed much of the latent resentment I harbored toward my family because:
3- I began to see that their tendencies were most likely also learned or developed out of percieved necessity. It wasn't their fault either! It just was the way it was. Incredible (to me).
For me, at the heart of recovery there lies Hope - a basic spiritual rest for my restless and tatterred heart. And that 'hope' comes from trusting G-d at my core.
I have no idea where I got that from. It seems it is a gift.
I need to have a G-d, rather than just believe in a G-d. To my heart, believing alone is just plain silly.
And as an addict and a Jew, this was my greatest gift, so far.
So, whether you are an addict or not, choose 12-steps or don't, I only wish the same for you.