The Library

Only recently, for a period of about a month, did I start falling by being drawn to reading wrong things. My computer at home now has a report that goes weekly to wife and a friend, my comp at work is turned outwards publicly but could still be dangerous (even though I know they can monitor), and this Blackberry is a time-bomb.

My Question: With a short fall like I had, which scared me enough to join your program when I heard about it, how will this be different in the long run to prevent anything like this in the future? The mishna says "don't trust yourself until the day you die?" As good as this program is, I imagine it is not foolproof. Please comment. Thank you.

Duvid Chaim replies:

Regarding your question, I want you to notice that you are surrounding yourself and your choices around FEAR. Am I right? Just take a look at what you wrote.

It's OK, most of us are motivated by Fear to get into the Program.

But to STAY in the Program and in Recovery, we have to be motivated by something entirely different. Something that fills our lives with Joy and Tranquility. Something that makes us wake up every morning, excited to be alive and to see what "awaits us." Something that is so attractive that everything else seems artificial.

And that 'something' that we find in Recovery is D'vaikus Hashem. That connection to not only a Higher Power but also a Higher Purpose - that awareness that I am special, that I am unique and that I have value. There is a reason that I am alive. And I am eager to serve G-d, the Universe, and my fellow man.

Anything less is counterfeit and unattractive.

Through Recovery, we don't have to be in Fear of the internet, the Blackberry or the Streets. I'm not in pain. I don't need a pain killer.

And while my life in Recovery isn't all roses, it is definitely all Purpose and Meaning.

And this is something you will want to keep coming back for - for the rest of your life.