Momo often posts on the forum a summary of Duvid Chaim's daily calls (read all the summaries over here).
Here is Momo's summary from the last call of Duvid Chaim's cycle, which ended before Yom Kippur. Being the last call of this series, it was a summary session of all 13 weeks. There are some very profound points here that we can all learn from, in regards to how to relate to our addiction.
- In our childhood we felt pain, we hid from it and pretended it wasn't there. As a result, we disconnected ourselves from ourselves, from the world and from HaShem. We isolated ourselves. We hid and soothed ourselves with our "drug of choice", in our case, lust.
- We need to start being aware of who we are, reconnect ourselves to the world and to HaShem. We can "reconnect" by allowing ourselves to start feeling joy/pain/loss. Don't go through life as a robot or zombie. Stop reacting to everything that triggers or upsets you.
- Teshuva is not changing ourselves, rather it is returning to the way we were when HaShem made us (when we were born).
- It's time for us to put away our "toys", grow up and "get real".
- I'm here to serve the world and see HaShem's hand in it, and to connect to Him. The world isn't here to serve me.
- Awareness of who we are and what drives us means we are in recovery, even if we aren't 100% clean. We should be aware that we act out because we lust. And we lust because we feel R.I.D. (restlessness, irritability and discontent). We feel R.I.D because of our egos; we are selfish. We think we are the center of the world. We think we are in control. We think the world owes us. We think that if something doesn't go "our way" we are entitled to get upset. We push G-d aside when we lust.
- The answer is to realize we are powerless of our addiction and not in control of our lives. HaShem is the driver. I should do His will, not mine. It's all good since it's all G-d, all the time! Surrender to HaShem. Be selfless. Help and constantly think of other people. Get out of your head. Whenever you go somewhere, don't think, "what can I get out of the situation?", rather, "what can I do to help others?"
- Quality of sobriety is more important than quantity. A few days feeling connected to HaShem is more important than weeks of unconnected clean days.
- Be happy! Nobody can take your place in this world. Become a friend with yourself; begin to like who you are.
Thank you Momo, for the beautiful summaries. And thank you Duvid Chaim for leading this wonderful group of sincere Yidden for the past 13 weeks!