Chazal ask why "the earlier generations of yidden would remove their shoes to begin a fast and were immediately answered with rain, while we fast and scream all day and still suffer with droughts?" They do not answer that the earlier generations learned more or did more mitzvos. They just suggest that the ingredient yidden had in the old days was Mesiras Nefesh. MN is translated literally as: "giving the self". The word "nefesh" is typically understood as referring to our self-ness, or personal desire (as in: "im yeish es nafshechem = if you desire/want").
I believe that Mesiras nefesh is the sacrifice of ego. It's my "leiv" (as in "levavchem" - all our personal desire) - the "me" that we hold onto so tightly that it can't breathe. It seems that for an addict it needs to break to ever get better. For an addict, the "me" is intertwined with the addiction, and lust has become the very air he or she breathes. No? Well then why can't the poor fellow just go without it? hmmm... It fills our ego and even takes G-d's rightful place as our prime motivator. Chazal refer to that state as having: "El zar" - a foreign god (in the heart of man - Gemara).
OK so far?
"Zivchei Elokim ruach nishbara - Leiv nishbar v'nidkeh Elokim lo sivzeh" (Teh. 51)
Gm' Sanhedrin 43b: RYb"L said "in the old days people would bring different korbanos and have different s'char for each one; but one who "da'ato shfeilo olov" (holds himself/his concerns to be very low) is considered as if he brought all the korbanos! As it says: "the sacrific es Hashem prefers (zivchei Elokim) are a broken spirit/will (ruach nishbara). Not only that, but Hashem attends to such a person's prayers, as it says (in the rest of the posuk): "a broken and beaten down heart will not be despised by Elokim"." (btw, see the beginning of that piece where RYb"L talks about the person who "sacrifices his Y"H and admits his wrongdoing"... apropos here).
As far as my recovery is concerned, it seems to me that all I really needed was a truly broken heart. Not sad, but broken. By which I mean, to give up on my will: My will to be able to keep using lust and yet remain in control. My will to get better the way I wanted to - by "doing teshuvah". My will to finally be a "winner" against this problem. I couldn't have any of those dreams. That's how I experienced "hitting bottom": Bankruptcy.
So to me, the broken heart is simply finally giving up and growing up - and staying that way. Living with the steps means nothing more or less than being aware of my true place and my dependence on Hashem because of who I am - not in spite of it. And thankfully, Hashem never makes my heart unbroken ever again. He helps me keep it broken, lest I die in my addiction/insanity. And He helps it be broken with joy!
Just to end this megillah with a vort from R' Simcha-Bunim of P'shischa about this broken heart:
In the second Halleluka we say each day: "Harofey l'nishberei leiv - He is the One who heals the broken-hearted". He asks: Why heal them? A broken heart is so precious! R' Simcha-Bunim answers with the end of the pasuk: "um'chabeish l'atzvosom - and (or by) tending to their sadness" and explains that Atzvus - sadness, has nothing to do with shivron leiv at all, but we are only human and sometimes confuse our own broken-heartedness with tragedy and feel sorry for ourselves. Sadness poisons a broken heart because feeling sorry for ourselves returns us to even deeper isolation and self-centeredness than before! That's when Hashem, the best doctor, steps in and removes the sadness, leaving the sweet, broken heart - "um'chabesh l'atzvosom"! He saves us from our selves!