In continuation of the story from the previous e-mails, Yerachmiel was caught in Yeshiva having an illicit affair with a boy from a different Yeshiva, and was called to the Rosh Yeshiva's office for a talk. Instead of throwing him out - as the Mashgiach had wanted to do, the Rosh Yeshiva is determined to try and help Yerachmiel, relying on his own bitter personal experience with the addiction. The Rosh Yeshiva begins by trying to engage Yerachmiel in small talk in an effort to get him to open up, but is met with little success. Instead, he tries a different approach and says:
"Yerachmiel, I want to tell you a story that happened in our Yeshiva a few years ago. We had a boy in the Yeshiva - let's call him Meir, who had a sharp mind and was one of the most talented Bochurim I ever taught. One day, a boy from the Yeshiva approached me and said that he had seen Meir hanging out in places that a Yeshiva Bochur should never be found.
When Meir was confronted, he denied it completely. I called Meir to my office and asked of him two things. One; that he should tell no one what I was about to tell him (that no one should say the Rosh Yeshiva allows hanging out in such places). And two; that if he ever felt a strong need to go to these forbidden places he should let me know before hand, and I assured him that if and when he asked, I would let him go. Meir nodded in agreement and left my office.
About two weeks later, Meir came over to me and asked to speak with me privately. Looking ashamed, he asked me for permission to go to that place, that in our first talk he had fervently denied even being there. I immediately praised him for showing the strength of character to stand by his word and tell me himself - before the deed. Understandably, I also stood by my word and gave him my approval; asking only that he come talk to me again when he came back.
And so he did. The next day right after davening, Meir appeared in my office and we made some small talk. And then I asked him, just out of curiosity, what was so interesting about that place he went. At first he tried to shy away, but after a few more moments of talk he finally opened up and told me that he had met a girl and that they meet there on occasion. I saw on his face that he was afraid he had taken too great a risk by telling me all this, but he was surprised when I asked him to tell me how they had met, and how long they were together.
As time went on, I gained Meir's full trust and he told me everything. I asked him to try not to meet with the girl during the times of learning, so that it shouldn't disturb his learning schedule. Together, we came to an understanding that he should only meet with her once every two weeks, and Meir agreed to this right away.
From then on, Meir would come to my office to talk on a frequent basis, and would speak with me about whatever was on his heart. My door was always open to him, and he always found a listening ear with me. With time, his need to meet with this girl became less compelling, until they finally separated.
Two months ago I got an invitation from Meir to his wedding. He is engaged to a special girl with good Midos and from a good home. I was very happy for him."
And so ended the Rosh Yeshiva his made-up story, hoping that the message to Yerachmiel had gotten across.
The Rosh Yeshiva was attempting to convey to Yerachmiel the "power of accountability" which can help a person break free no matter how low they may have fallen. If we can find someone (a good friend, Rabbi or even our wife) who we respect and who can be there for us with wisdom and understanding, we should take the opportunity to talk to them about our problem, and indeed continue to give them an update on our situation every week or so. This can ultimately prove to be an invaluable tool to help anyone break free.