You might wonder whether you are qualified to be a mentor. After all, you might not have the utmost clarity, and you might even struggle yourself. This might make you feel incapable of being effective as a mentor.
This is a mistake. Nobody asked that you become an angel before mentoring someone. All you need is the ability to empathize with someone who is connecting with you because he is struggling and wants to improve. Most people want to be good, but sometimes it’s hard, and the battle against desire is the best example of this. All you have to do is find the person’s desire to be good and focus on it until it becomes his identity. Then, by studying with him, maintaining a connection, and discussing his progress and struggles with encouragement, you will help him succeed. Your only objective is to make a difference, and you definitely can. You don’t need to understand everything about desire to help. Just do the best you can. If you choose not to help the person, maybe no one will.
You don’t need to attain self-mastery to help others. In fact, making believe you are never challenged makes it difficult for people to relate to you, while sharing your vulnerability creates a bond and fosters openness. Nevertheless, you are probably better off not discussing specific mistakes you’ve made. Just admit that you face your own challenges and that it can be difficult, even for you. This will bring the person to see you as an empathetic ally. He will open up to you, which will further your relationship, and you will guide him even better. Share with him whatever has worked for you. Tell him that though you are no expert, these ideas and techniques helped you and might help him. You don’t have to be a guru or to make believe you are. Just care about him and try your best, and you will make a huge difference in his life.
Set up a seder with any people you can help. Learn with them the pieces of Gemara and Mussar quoted in this book. Learn these sources inside and work on the lessons together. Ask questions. Ask them what they think and why things happened. Get them to figure out the answers themselves, so the lesson will penetrate without resistance and the impact will be stronger. Through these Gemaros, inspire them to reach for greatness through success against desire. Over time, this seder will make a major impact on both of you.