Chapter 46- Guidance
Though it is always important to have a Rebbe to help you grow and to guide you to make the right decisions, it has never been as vital as it is now. Because of the intense desires we experience, and especially because we often are at least somewhat affected by desire, we need a mentor to ensure that we are progressing and avoiding mistakes.
In Mesillas Yesharim (Chapter 3), the Ramchal writes that when a person battles his desires, he might make two mistakes. The first is not anticipating being challenged until he is caught off guard. This mistake is harmful enough. But there is a second mistake that is more deadly than the first. Desire can blind the person to think that what really is good is bad and what really is bad is good. He can even back it up with convincing, albeit faulty, logic. The person doesn’t realize he is making a mistake and continues to follow the wrong path, which results in disaster. Though it’s true that a person who wants to be honest with himself and uses certain methods can see through his biases, there is an easy way for a person to ensure that he is not making a mistake — by discussing it with someone who can guide him.
The Ramchal (ibid, Chapter 3) alludes to two advantages that a person who won his battle has over someone who is still engaged in the struggle. These advantages enable the one who has prevailed to guide people who are still fighting their desires.
The first advantage is that one who has emerged from his battle against desire is no longer being influenced by desire. It doesn’t sway his logic. Because he sees clearly, he can appreciate what matters in life and make correct decisions.
The second advantage is that a person who won has already fought the challenge and tried different tactics to succeed. He has learned from experience which ones work and which don’t. Thus, any person not currently under the influence of desire — even one who has never experienced what we are battling against — can help us see right from wrong. But we also need someone who has experienced our specific challenges. Only such a person can guide us with what to do and what to avoid in our battle.
When it comes to the battle against desire, this is tricky. Many of the best candidates to guide us in life have had only limited exposure to this challenge. Though they can help us see straight and offer us advice for our battle from their experience in life, they might be somewhat limited in how much they can advise us about overcoming our desires. Therefore, we must also look for someone with the requisite experience to guide us in this area. We might have to settle for someone not much older than us. Nevertheless, if he has dealt with these challenges, he might have some ideas for us or even be able to guide us. Although it might be difficult to find such a person, it will be quite helpful if we can.